You are doing an absolutely *aces* job at "Show, Don't Tell" here.
Okay, it's been about half an hour since I read this feedback, so I've calmed down enough to type. Dude, that is... that totally made my morning. The 'show, don't tell' thing? I have troubles with. Big troubles with.
I tend to tell, I tend to use the characters inner pov to download great big hunks of exposition. I realised this on a beta I got back about a "Five Things" fic I wrote about Sam Seaborn (WW). That I don't really do the "show, don't tell" thing.
I mean, of course, SN writing is different from SV or WW. In SN, I let it ramble, I let it take these nonsense twists and turns in the conversation, and I generally don't worry about trying to make it make sense. At worse, it ends up a rambling banter fic without a point (which isn't so different from their actual conversations) so I've lightened up on trying to make the characters stick to the plot inside my head.
In this case? the 'show, don't tell' stuff? Was not done on purpose. Not by any stretch of the imagination. It was just done, and I let them ramble, but I'm just... bouncing at the thought that it, y'know, works. That even if I can't sit down and do this stuff on purpose, it's sort of showing up at the party anyway.
*takes deep breath adn tries to remember the basics of grammar*
Thank you kindly. Since that's something that I generally don't do, or don't do well, I really appreciated the compliment. *beams*
Re: I love your procrastination
Okay, it's been about half an hour since I read this feedback, so I've calmed down enough to type. Dude, that is... that totally made my morning. The 'show, don't tell' thing? I have troubles with. Big troubles with.
I tend to tell, I tend to use the characters inner pov to download great big hunks of exposition. I realised this on a beta I got back about a "Five Things" fic I wrote about Sam Seaborn (WW). That I don't really do the "show, don't tell" thing.
I mean, of course, SN writing is different from SV or WW. In SN, I let it ramble, I let it take these nonsense twists and turns in the conversation, and I generally don't worry about trying to make it make sense. At worse, it ends up a rambling banter fic without a point (which isn't so different from their actual conversations) so I've lightened up on trying to make the characters stick to the plot inside my head.
In this case? the 'show, don't tell' stuff? Was not done on purpose. Not by any stretch of the imagination. It was just done, and I let them ramble, but I'm just... bouncing at the thought that it, y'know, works. That even if I can't sit down and do this stuff on purpose, it's sort of showing up at the party anyway.
*takes deep breath adn tries to remember the basics of grammar*
Thank you kindly. Since that's something that I generally don't do, or don't do well, I really appreciated the compliment. *beams*