Commentary Meme

[out_there]

In celebration of finally getting all my stories¹ up on AO3, a writing meme last seen on resonant's DW:

Pick a paragraph (or any passage between ... let's say 200 and 600 words) from anything I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the characters' heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.



¹ - That is a slight lie as the anime stuff I wrote at the not-so-mature ages of 16 and 17 isn't up there, but that's not getting posted online. They died a quiet death with Geocities and none will mourn their passing. But everything fannish written from 20y.o. onwards, is all sitting on AO3. It's a yay, peoples.

Comments

[littleclodia.livejournal.com]

ummm sorry
i mean sorry to invade
i'm from lj, don't have a dreamwidth, just an openid, but i love your sherlock stories so much and i love reading author's notes on their fics so i couldn't possibly pass this opportunity
i hope it's okay and you know... ahem...
anyway, since "let me kiss you" was already commented on, i think i could ask you about the whore of babylon... i really wish i could read you commentary on the WHOLE FIC, i mean, i know this is totally not happening, but oh god, i'd have read it. oh yes. i'm just. i find most of the dvd and etc. audio-commentary inexplicably boooooring, but i love reading author's comments/notes on their fanfiction, that's why i half-obsessedly read comments after stories and follow the interaction between readers and authors - it sometimes gives very lovely and unique glimpses into the story. anyway, i know, i can't ask for full commentary for the story, but i still can't choose between two episodes (please, don't hate me), they are the one in the freezer and the weekend in paris. i was wondering if you could maybe choose what you'd like to comment more and then i'd post the exact paragraph...

[out_there]

Hi! The reason I posted here and not on LJ was mostly the wordcount. DW has a higher word limit for comments so it makes it easier to reply. (I'm a bit wordy.)

Hmmm. As for which one I'd prefer to comment on, that's actually a hard choice. I can give you a little background on both of them, though.

The freezer scene... It reminds me of the end of s3 Doctor Who, specifically a scene between Jack and the Doctor where they emotionally connect in the midst of end-of-the-universe problems and being trapped on different sides of thick, metal doors. This idea of people emotionally confessing and sharing because of mortal peril, as a combination of distracting themselves from the danger around them and also wanting to clarify certain things just in case they don't get a chance later.

John in this story is deeply military, very much a guy used to carrying on in the face of danger, and also not entirely comfortable with emotional scenes. He functions much better with them than Sherlock (who is rational to a ridiculous level when it suits him, and prone to sulking like a teenager at other times), but if there was a choice between talking about feelings and getting a tooth pulled, John would have to consider that decision carefully.

We see it in John's trembling hand, his PTSD, his limp in the first episode. John's far more comfortable getting up and doing than sitting around and emoting about how he feels. If you asked him about the war or getting shot, he'd half-joke about it and completely side-step emotionally discussing it. Don't get me wrong, he's an awesome guy and I love John Watson like burning, but he's not touchy-feely.

But in the freezer he's concussed and annoyed and cold, and the emotional conversation is literally a passive-aggressive way of attacking Sherlock (for getting him in the situation, for being so calm about it, and for refusing to share his gloves or scarf).

It's a conversation that stays couched in hypotheticals. John's spends so much time breaking it down to terms that Sherlock would comprehend; he tries to make it objective and clinical, and by doing so, he allows himself enough emotional distance to talk it through without feeling too embarrassed or uncomfortable.

It's one of these strange ways where John and Sherlock fit together. By trying to come to an understanding with Sherlock, somehow during that process, John realises how he himself feels about Sherlock. John doesn't like talking about emotions and love and couple-like expectations, but he and Sherlock are step-for-step together in what they want out of this (which is everything and forever. All those romantic notions that John would cringe around and Sherlock would mock for lack of rationality, that's actually how they feel about each other, but this is the first time they make the effort to discuss it).

Likewise, Paris is the first time they do something that's purely "being in a couple". It's not about cases. It's not the cosy domesticity of Baker St (which was cosy and domestic before they started sleeping together). It's them taking time out of their normal routines just to specifically spend it with each other.

I remember being on AIM with seperis when I was writing these bits. I finished the freezer scene and said how I didn't want to write any plot, I just wanted to give them a honeymoon in Paris and write something romantic and pointless and an utter waste of wordcount, and she said "Do it." With that encouragement, I did and it wasn't until the entire story came together that I realised the Paris bit needs to be there. This is the step between being friends who sleep together to becoming a couple. They already care about each other, that's obvious, but making it work long-term means adjusting and recognising that it's an "us" now.

And Paris is that step. We get to see Sherlock loving tourists and John hating it. We get to see them compromise around each other and make it work. And they get to be naked for a day. It doesn't solve all issues -- John still doesn't understand the reason for Sherlock's sexual history; Sherlock's still keeping certain truths from John, still keeping himself slightly separate -- but it's a start.

Every couple deserves to spend some time head-over-heels and lounging around naked in bed, at least at the start.

Now, if there's a specific section you'd like me to comment on, choose a 500 or so word quote and I'll give that a go. *g*