TW Snippet: Ianto's List

[out_there]

Ianto tries not to think about who Jack's slept with before him. He's nowhere near secure enough to ask for a number (also, he's seen Jack's ability to manage his credit card payments; if Jack can't remember his credit limit, it's unlikely he's kept an accurate tally of sexual conquests). Instead, Ianto keeps a list in his wallet, behind his NHS card. It doesn't have a title. It doesn't need one, but inside Ianto's head, it's the 'People Jack Had Better Not Have Slept With' List. It currently reads:

1. Either of my parents
2. Any of my siblings
3. Gwen
4. The Doctor
5. Martha Jones
6. Beatrix Potter
7. Bette Davis
8. William Shakespeare
9. Elle McPherson
10. William Shatner
11. Roald Dahl
12. Aristotle
13. Jane Austen

On good days, the list seems silly and unnecessary. On bad days, Ianto fervently hopes he won't end up crossing through every name (but he wouldn't place any money on it).

Comments

[darthhellokitty.livejournal.com]

Oh, bless. William Shatner.

[out-there.livejournal.com]

It's one thing working for an heroic, sexually promiscuous space captain. It's entirely another thing to find out that the one you’re working for slept with the fictional one you had a TV crush on as a kid.

[ariadne83]

Ahaha Beatrix Potter. Jack, you're ruining Ianto's childhood :D

[out-there.livejournal.com]

There are some days when Ianto's secretly relieved that TinTin was purely fictional.

(And that there were never any "adult stories" written about the character. No matter what Jack claims he inspired.)

[naggawikka.livejournal.com]

I'm very,very sorry, but there *were* some written. And drawn. And published. And I can even prove it:
http://www.naufrageur.com/articles/xx/mar-vig.jpg
http://www.naufrageur.com/articles/xx/minousv1.jpg
etc...

As for Tintin as a purely fictional character, well, he was inspired, more or less, from a real man. And of course there was the actor who played his role in the movie "TinTin and the blue Oranges" (or at least, that's the translation of the french name)
... Don't look at me like that, it's not an obsession, it's part of our geneal culture.

[out-there.livejournal.com]

I'm both amused and utterly horrified. Which would probably be Ianto's reaction too.

(Having said that, the Captain/TinTin always made perfect sense to me.)

Poor Ianto. You just know that eventually, Jack's going to overshare about TinTin and totally ruin Ianto's childhood memories.

[naggawikka.livejournal.com]

Well, if so, I just hope that Jack did when Owen was around -- maybe seing him squicked out of his mind would help Ianto...

[slashybits.livejournal.com]

LOL!

That is a surprisingly short list though *g*

[out-there.livejournal.com]

Ianto is a fairly practical young man. He knows there's no point making a long list of people Jack shouldn't sleep with -- that's just setting himself up for disappointment.

Hahaha! :)

[meret.livejournal.com]

The idea of Jack having slept with Beatrix Potter made me smile, but I LOL when I read William Shatner. :)

Re: Hahaha! :)

[out-there.livejournal.com]

*beams* There are some things that bend the brain when you try to imagine them.

(Mind you, if any guy could seduce William Shatner, I'm pretty sure it would be Jack.)

[in-the-bottle.livejournal.com]

Did I send you my thoughts on this? I don't think I did, but heee!!! I really want to see/read Jack/Willl Shakespeare. And the Shatner one scares me. A lot.

[out-there.livejournal.com]

Jack/Shakespeare would be hot and way cool.

Jack/Shatner... could terrify us all. However, a young Shatner? Was damn hot, so... yeah. I need to leave that thought alone now.

[macadamanaity.livejournal.com]

::blink::

You just made me picture Jack/Shatner!!

You're... evil!

[out-there.livejournal.com]

You're... evil!

Truly evil thing is that I totally heard that line with one of Shatner's dramatic pauses.

Must... resist... urge to... mock!

[adjovi.livejournal.com]

what i love is that he lists his parents and siblings, and then the next listing is gwen. heh! and, as aforementioned, the addition of shatner is complete awesomesauce. :)

[out-there.livejournal.com]

Ianto is aware that Jack is something of a manwhore. He tries to accept these things as much as he can.

[amilyn.livejournal.com]

HEEEE!!!! Fantastic!

[out-there.livejournal.com]

*beams*

[theeverdream.livejournal.com]

Oh, poor Ianto. Funny fic but sad too, which is a neat combination.

[out-there.livejournal.com]

thanks!