Title: According to the Tabloids
Fandom: Torchwood/Alias
Pairing: Jack/Ianto, past Jack Harkness/Jack Bristow
Notes: Thanks to celli for encouragement and her speedy instant beta service. No spoilers for either show.

Summary: "Ianto Jones, this is Jack Bristow," Jack said, and Bristow's shoulders stiffened. "We go back."

"How far back?" Ianto heard himself ask, and noticed Bristow's right hand move slightly closer to his body, like Jack when he was getting ready to pull his pistol. "Or would you have to kill me if you told me?"

( According to the Tabloids )

Ianto tries not to think about who Jack's slept with before him. He's nowhere near secure enough to ask for a number (also, he's seen Jack's ability to manage his credit card payments; if Jack can't remember his credit limit, it's unlikely he's kept an accurate tally of sexual conquests). Instead, Ianto keeps a list in his wallet, behind his NHS card. It doesn't have a title. It doesn't need one, but inside Ianto's head, it's the 'People Jack Had Better Not Have Slept With' List. It currently reads:

1. Either of my parents
2. Any of my siblings
3. Gwen
4. The Doctor
5. Martha Jones
6. Beatrix Potter
7. Bette Davis
8. William Shakespeare
9. Elle McPherson
10. William Shatner
11. Roald Dahl
12. Aristotle
13. Jane Austen

On good days, the list seems silly and unnecessary. On bad days, Ianto fervently hopes he won't end up crossing through every name (but he wouldn't place any money on it).

Title: Try Your Best (Think About It Later)
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Not RTD
Notes: An AU based around the sex alien of TW 1.02, "Day One". Thanks to oxoniensis for the fantastic and insightful beta. Thanks to in_the_bottle for listening to my whining. Title comes from the Kaiser Chief's "Try Your Best (And Think About It Later)" because I'm a sucker for a title with parenthesis.

Summary: "The alien inside Jones," the scientist says, referring to the kid by name, "somehow sucks the energy out of people through orgasm. So far, it's been fatal three times. How did you survive?"

"I'm not easy to kill," Jack says.


( Try Your Best (Think About It Later) -- Part 1/2 )

Continued in Part Two.

Title: Underwear Not Required (Bra Optional)
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Not RTD. Even RTD wouldn't do this to them.
Notes: Thanks to in_the_bottle for cheerleading. Thanks to ekaterinn for betaing and making me giggle with title suggestions.

Summary: Genderswitch (girl-Jack) porn.

( Underwear Not Required (Bra Optional) )

Title: All the Dishes Rattle In the Cupboards When the Elephants Arrive
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not RTD and making no profit.
Summary: Five ways Ianto Jones might meet the Doctor, in chronological order.

Notes: For in_the_bottle who encouraged this. Without her encouragement, this would have been nothing more than a vague idea still sitting in the back of my head. Skim-betaed so all faults are mine. Title comes from Cake’s awesome song, “Love You Madly”.

Continued from Part One


( All the Dishes Rattle In the Cupboards When the Elephants Arrive - Part 2 of 2 )

Title: Recovery
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys
Rating: R
Spoilers: Exit Wounds
Disclaimer: Not RTD.
Notes: Set directly after 2.13 ("Exit Wounds"). Thanks to researchgrrrl and ekaterinn for beta-reading. Lame title entirely my own lack of imagination.

Summary: This is how they mourn.


( Recovery )

This is, clearly, ekaterinn's fault for suggesting: With Ianto. And possibly Dean Winchester. Mmm. Now, that's a crossover someone should write.

ETA: Or as a audiofic via senduit. (Under 3 minutes long.)

( Any errors belong to me, because I've only seen a handful of SPNs eps )

Title: Best-Laid Plans
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Still not RTD. *sigh*
Notes: PWP set directly after the stopwatch scene in They Keep Killing Suzie. Thanks to ainsley for the speedy beta and the puntastic title. in_the_bottle and godofwine, I totally expect to claim my bribes now.

ETA: Now also translated into Russian by my_autumn_tale (part 1, part 2 and part 3).

Summary: The porn that happened after the stopwatch flirting.


( Best-Laid Plans )

Title: The Definition of a Year
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Disclaimer: I'm not RTD and I make no profit from this.
Notes: Written for celli because she's a sweetheart.

Summary: It's an anniversary (of sorts).



( The Definition of a Year )

Title: How to Dance
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: Jack/Ianto

( Ianto knows how to waltz. It shouldn't surprise Jack -- Ianto is delightfully traditional in some ways, from waistcoats to only making tea in a teapot to knowing structured dances -- but it's an unexpected pleasure to wander into the hub and hear Chopin playing, to see Ianto standing there in a relatively informal shirt (no tie, no waistcoat, first button undone) and be asked to dance. )




Title: Welsh Cakes
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: Jack/Ianto

( 'Welsh cakes,' Jack says as Ianto hands him his second expresso of the day. )