Pet Peeve

[out_there]

TW fics that refer to Jack as "the Captain". I mean, if it's Owen being sarcastic and nasty, that's fine, but stories that have Ianto *thinking* of Jack as "the Captain" annoy the heck out of me.

Mainly because I immediately start thinking of Kasey Chambers' "The Captain". And then I have the lyrics stuck in my head.

'Cause you're the Captain, and I am no-one,
I tend to feel as though I owe one to you...

I also start waiting for horribly OOC angst-woobie Ianto to suddenly pop up. Because, really, that song is all about losing yourself in someone else, moving into their world and finding a place there, but it's very... un-empowered, I guess.

Well I have handed all my efforts in
I searched here for my second wind
Is there somewhere here to let me in I asked
So I slammed the doors they slammed at me
I found the place I'm meant to be
I figured out my destiny at last

Comments

[soupytwist.livejournal.com]

It seems to be the law that every other fic must have at least two spork-inducing instances of a character referring to their beloved as 'the [something]'. Cause, yeah, of course, everybody thinks of their boyfriend or girlfriend as 'the Window Cleaner' or whatever!

[out-there.livejournal.com]

Cause, yeah, of course, everybody thinks of their boyfriend or girlfriend as 'the Window Cleaner' or whatever!

Bwah! That's awesome. Now, I kind of want to date a window cleaner just so I can try it. *sniggers*

Personally, I think of my parents by roles (Mum, Dad) and my brother by name (Mark), although when I had a girlfriend... hmmm. I most often thought of her as "my girl" inside my head, and by name when I talked about her to someone else. I never once thought "the younger/shorter/slimmer girl" or "the university student". It's such an annoying, unrealistic thing that pops up in fandom after fandom.

[soupytwist.livejournal.com]

Yeah, me too -if only because using "the [whatever]" all the time would generally lead to a whooole lot of confusion, unless you are in The Middleman or something! (I mean, what if you are dating a window cleaner and then you need to employ a DIFFERENT window cleaner to actually clean your windows?!?!) Oh and I guess "professor" and "doctor" can be used sort of like that, but even then it's really a nickname, kind of like "my girl" as you said, or the way my friend and his wife sometimes refer to each other as "the husband" and "the wife".

I suspect it's mostly people trying to get around the whole "then he kissed him" pronoun problem, but seriously, names are not a bad thing. :)

[cageyklio.livejournal.com]

The Torchwood team returned to the Hub drenched, cranky, and identity-challenged.

"Teaboy! Make the Captain some coffee!" the Doctor shouted.

"Shouldn't I be making tea, if I'm the Teaboy?" the Welshman pointed out helpfully.

"I think you should make the Copper some toast," the Dark-haired Woman Who Wasn't Asian said. "She's starving."

The Computer Tech took a whiff of the Londoner's sodden jumper and wrinkled her nose. "I think we should all throw My Secret Crush into the shower."

The Handsome Immortal American-Accented Sort-of-Alien Man from the Future pressed a few buttons on his Magical Wriststrap and everyone in the Hub was bathed briefly in a warm, blue glow.

"That's a relief," he said.

"What's a relief?" she asked.

"He is NOT my secret crush," she interjected.

"I am NOT her secret crush," he said sourly. "She goes for birds."

"I do?" she said, surprised.

"No, she does," he replied.

"Actually," he said carefully, "she 'goes' both ways."

"Prove it," he demanded.

"You want me to prove it now?" he asked incredulously.

"You want him to prove it? Now?" she asked incredulously.

He fumbled with his wrist strap, and the resulting light was sparkly purple.

"Sorry about that." Jack grinned sheepishly. "Hit the wrong button. Everyone okay? Ianto? Gwen? Tosh? Owen?"

The rest of the team gave various assenting responses. "Side effect of that alien goo we responded to?" Gwen hazarded.

Jack nodded. Owen clapped his hands together and said cheerfully, "Great! I'm getting out of these wet clothes. Teaboy, coffee!"

Teaboy Ianto sighed.

[out-there.livejournal.com]

BWAHAHAHAHAA!

This is awesome. So awesome I'm unlocking this post.

[out-there.livejournal.com]

or the way my friend and his wife sometimes refer to each other as "the husband" and "the wife".

Hmmm. I don't mind the nicknames -- I blame Entourage and Ari's habit of calling his wife "Mrs Ari" and the way that she doesn't have a canonical name because everyone refers to/thinks of her as that -- but the roles are kind of silly.

Although thinking of someone as doctor or professor feels kind of... kinky to me.

[such_heights]

Oh, so much yes. And the Doctor's the only one who ever really refers to him as Captain anyway.

I have MUCH hate for 'the Welshman' as well. In general, epithets need to die in a fire - their honest-to-goodness given names are more than good enough to get you through the quagmire of multiple 'he'-ing.

[such_heights]

OMG. *ded of lulz*

Seriously, though, seriously. THIS.

[out-there.livejournal.com]

Such an appropriate icon. Given names don't draw attention to themselves like those horrible "whatever man" phrases do. They're easier to read.

[oxoniensis.livejournal.com]

Hee!!

[nikki4noo.livejournal.com]

cracktackular!

[shehasathree]

hee!

[out-there.livejournal.com]

*g*

[misbegotten.livejournal.com]

I am having an affair with your icon. Glee!

[such_heights]

cowboyhd's icons CRACK ME UP sometimes. :D

[out-there.livejournal.com]

I don't even want to admit how long I've been sniggering at your "my bike's got a bell" icon. *g*

[lawsontl.livejournal.com]

BLESS YOU for this!

Other peeves:

"the younger man"
"the older man"
"his lover" (this is fine in small doses, but when it's in every other bleedin' sentence, sheesh!)

[out-there.livejournal.com]

OMG, yes! It's so irritating. Really, people have names; writers are allowed to use them.