CASEY: What's goin' on?
DAN: Jeremy's gonna face his fear.
CASEY: Yeah?
DAN: I think we should watch.
CASEY: You know, among the many unhappy by-products of Sam Donovan's arrival, is that it's taken attention from the serious problem I'm having with Dana.
DAN: The dating plan.
CASEY: The dating plan.
DAN: Casey, don't kill for this, but I gotta say something.
CASEY: What.
DAN: I'm not quite seeing the problem.
CASEY: You're not quite seeing the problem?
DAN: No.
CASEY: After 15 years of dancing around each other, Dana and I are poised to start a relationship, only she decides that due to what she perceives as a limited experience with women, she's requiring me to date other people for six months before I can date her.
DAN: Okay. Dude. First of all, it's not just what Dana would perceive as a limited experience with women, it's what pretty much any jury of reasonable people would perceive to be a limited--
CASEY: So I got married young. I married my college sweetheart. That doesn't make me Okey from Fanokey.
DAN: No it doesn't, but using the expression Okey from Fanokey sure does the trick.
CASEY: I'm in pain here. I'm in anguish.
DAN: A woman you have strong feelings for, you get to work with, side by side, for twelve hours a day, six days a week. She has told you, after a decade and a half, that she's interested in a romantic relationship with you, but that she wants you to date other women. She's requiring you to date other women. To be with them on dates with their perfume and their nice shoes while they try and be as interesting to you as possible.
Because you are a television star, these women, very likely, will not be from the bargain basement. And because these women won't know you very well, there might just be an opportunity for you to have sex. Now I grant you, somewhere, somehow, Dana has obviously lost several of her marbles, but I don't think that should stop you from gettin' busy.
CASEY: I want Dana. I don't want a series of meaningless relationships with women who want to sleep with me because I'm
on television.
DAN: (PAUSE) I don't follow you.
CASEY: Danny--
DAN: I'm just saying--
CASEY: We got bigger problems.
DAN: I know.
CASEY: Shouldn't we be talkin' about them?
DAN: Let's just write, okay?
CASEY: Yeah.
From the "Cliff Gardner" original script - the wine & spackle episode.