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Hope is Not a Course of Action (12572 words) by thatdamneddame.
Frequently, how much I love a story is determined by the strength of the POV voice. I loved this Clint/Phil story right from the first paragraph describing Natasha:
Clint loved Natasha like he loved a lot of stupid ideas. She was hard and fast and dangerous and looked at Clint like he was a weapon not a carnie. She had hair the color of blood and only smiled when she didn’t mean it and lived like a house on fire and Clint felt alive just being in her orbit. Natasha taught him how to knife fight, how to find a man’s weaknesses, how to swear in Russian, French, Italian. She taught him that who you were and how the world saw you were two different things. That it was better that way.
And then we get the first line describing Phil Coulson:
SHIELD Agent Phil Coulson wore suits and patent leather loafers and he had a receding hairline and the smile of a man who thought that fantasy football was a fulfilling hobby.
How can you not love that turn of phrase? Because, yes, Phil Coulson absolutely comes across as a mild-mannered type who probably wastes hours on something as pointless as fantasy football (says the member of fandom, heh.). It's only as Clint gets to know him that we see there's more there.
One of the things I love about this story is the sharp edges of it. The way that Clint's view of life is razor-cold, the way that Phil might be protecting Clint but there's no kid gloves; the snark is funny but it's not really kind.
(I think I blame Ani Difranco for my fondness for this. There's something about the lyrics to "As Is" that I've always found weirdly romantic. The idea of being less than perfect, of acknowledging it and being loved regardless is very powerful.)
I like that Clint's self-aware and sarcastic enough to acknowledge past betrayals and his own actions, whether or not they're what he should be doing. I keep thinking over one particular idea, and wondering how much I personally agree with it:
Betrayal doesn’t make you any less hopeful that someday, someone would want to stay. It just makes you believe it less when it happens, sabotage opportunities when they come because you’re still that scared little boy inside.
Frequently, how much I love a story is determined by the strength of the POV voice. I loved this Clint/Phil story right from the first paragraph describing Natasha:
Clint loved Natasha like he loved a lot of stupid ideas. She was hard and fast and dangerous and looked at Clint like he was a weapon not a carnie. She had hair the color of blood and only smiled when she didn’t mean it and lived like a house on fire and Clint felt alive just being in her orbit. Natasha taught him how to knife fight, how to find a man’s weaknesses, how to swear in Russian, French, Italian. She taught him that who you were and how the world saw you were two different things. That it was better that way.
And then we get the first line describing Phil Coulson:
SHIELD Agent Phil Coulson wore suits and patent leather loafers and he had a receding hairline and the smile of a man who thought that fantasy football was a fulfilling hobby.
How can you not love that turn of phrase? Because, yes, Phil Coulson absolutely comes across as a mild-mannered type who probably wastes hours on something as pointless as fantasy football (says the member of fandom, heh.). It's only as Clint gets to know him that we see there's more there.
One of the things I love about this story is the sharp edges of it. The way that Clint's view of life is razor-cold, the way that Phil might be protecting Clint but there's no kid gloves; the snark is funny but it's not really kind.
(I think I blame Ani Difranco for my fondness for this. There's something about the lyrics to "As Is" that I've always found weirdly romantic. The idea of being less than perfect, of acknowledging it and being loved regardless is very powerful.)
I like that Clint's self-aware and sarcastic enough to acknowledge past betrayals and his own actions, whether or not they're what he should be doing. I keep thinking over one particular idea, and wondering how much I personally agree with it:
Betrayal doesn’t make you any less hopeful that someday, someone would want to stay. It just makes you believe it less when it happens, sabotage opportunities when they come because you’re still that scared little boy inside.
