Upon reflection, I like it too. There are still some phrases that just strike me as not-right, but...
I was wary of it when I posted (and anything finished at midnight should always be treated with a bit of wariness), but... *nods* Am reassured now.
The lack of dialogue really works, because it highlights this feeling that Dan is stuck, stalled, out of step, and so forth.
*nods* Out of the Casey/Danny banter rhythm, certainly. I'm intrigued that Casey doesn't actually have any direct dialogue. The only people who speak are Danny (at the end) and Isaac. How interesting that Isaac, in-control and effective Isaac, is still the one that Dan "hears"...
And now, I should stop looking at this fic like it's someone elses, and trying to find the deeper meanings. *g*
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zvi and
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Date: 2004-07-18 09:02 pm (UTC)I was wary of it when I posted (and anything finished at midnight should always be treated with a bit of wariness), but... *nods* Am reassured now.
The lack of dialogue really works, because it highlights this feeling that Dan is stuck, stalled, out of step, and so forth.
*nods* Out of the Casey/Danny banter rhythm, certainly. I'm intrigued that Casey doesn't actually have any direct dialogue. The only people who speak are Danny (at the end) and Isaac. How interesting that Isaac, in-control and effective Isaac, is still the one that Dan "hears"...
And now, I should stop looking at this fic like it's someone elses, and trying to find the deeper meanings. *g*