out_there: B-Day Present '05 (Beeker by Scrunchy)
[personal profile] out_there
Title: If Sorkin wrote Smallville...
Fandom: Smallville
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Rating: G
Summary: Repetitive dialogue, sports metaphors and general snark. In other words, Sorkinese.
Notes: A silly ficlet thankfully beta'd by [livejournal.com profile] oxoniensis.

***

If Sorkin wrote Smallville...

Lex narrowed his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here?" Clark asked, watching the multi-billionaire closely.

"What are you doing here?" Lex casually brushed his hand over the controls of his kryptonite fueled laser. "You shouldn't be here, Clark."

"I know."

"You shouldn't."

Clark rolled his eyes. "I picked up on that the first time."

"So what are you doing here?"

"I'm trying to thwart your attempt to take over the world."

"I'm not taking over it," Lex objected mildly, "I'm just..."

"Trying to buy it?" Clark sighed. "Ruling the world isn't like managing the Sharks, Lex. You can't just pay people to want to live under your rule."

"I think it's just like the Sharks. Give people enough incentive, they'll score a touch-down every time."

"And you think threatening to melt the major cities of North America will do the trick?"

"I'd certainly consider it an incentive," Lex said firmly, looking down at the controls in his hand.

Clark took a few more steps over and stood beside Lex. "Lex, it's not going to work."

"It should."

"It's not," Clark said gently, settling his hands over Lex's, and pulling them far away from the blinking red buttons. "Blowing up half of America is not going to make Metropolis win the World Series."

Lex sighed despondently, dropping his head to Clark's shoulder. "Probably not."

"Come to bed." Clark wrapped a hand around Lex's shoulders, using his other hand to quickly power-down the laser.

"Okay."

"You can work on bribing the other teams tomorrow."

The End
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