(no subject)
Sep. 22nd, 2003 04:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
out_thereMan, I was good this morning. Got in at 7.50am, went over the stuff I needed to get done with the boss. (He left for Brisbane at 10.30am, so he needed the extra time with me.) The internal server was down most of the morning so it was frustrating not to be able to get more done, but still, I worked. (He was also the one to screw up the server, which still amuses me.)
Now, I'm tired. I'm... I don't know, melancholy, I guess. I have no idea why I feel so miserable, because really, things aren't bad at all. It's weird. I think it could just be coming down from the false high of caffeine this morning... Or comments co-workers made at lunch.
I try not to bitch about co-workers. I really, really do. When I first came there was a small bitchy cabal going, however all four of them have left here now (Yay! Shouldn't be pleased about it but I am.) and there isn't a bitchy group left. Or, more correctly, they're all younger than me so generally I couldn't give a stuff.
However, one was talking about going out on the Melbourne Cup Day with her dad, and that she didn't have a nice dress to wear but didn't think she could con him into buying one for her (I'm paraphrasing here). Another turned round and said she should phrase it as an investment in his daughter's future. "Doesn't he want his daughter to grow and get married?" When I was a little disbelieving about this attitude and that's it's as medieval as dowry's, she clarified "Well, doesn't he want his daughter to date and fall in love to be happy?"
Am I the only one seeing red on this?
Seriously, I want a reality check here. Am I taking this far too seriously, and this is just a normal attitude that girls have to their fathers? I've never been a Daddy's Girl (Mummy's Girl, sure *g*), I've never played these crappy little girl games to get what I want. I've never needed to. I've only had to ask Mum (and sometimes, I only needed to hint, didn't even need to ask outright).
So, am I being insane when I hear that comment and think you can't seriously believe that your father should invest in his daughter by making her attractive and marrying her off? That her happiness really shouldn't rely upon falling in love and getting married. It should be about her growing as a person, becoming confident in who she is, achieving things that matter to her.
*sigh* The problem is I really don't know. I didn't comment because it was obvious that those two saw it as natural, as something to joke about. I could have ranted, and I think I would have stood out like a sore thumb, as someone far too serious and far too concentrated on outdated feminism. I really don't think of myself as a feminist... I think of myself as pretty damn conservative and happy to go with the status quo, but I also don't like those little comments.
I hate the way that I come across these kind of attitudes, and my natural reaction makes me sit back and think, "hmmmm, no one else is reacting like this? I wonder if I'm so far from the norm that I can't even see it in the distance?"
Okay, I think I need to go to bed and get a good night's sleep. Or, failing that, get some work done in this last hour.
Now, I'm tired. I'm... I don't know, melancholy, I guess. I have no idea why I feel so miserable, because really, things aren't bad at all. It's weird. I think it could just be coming down from the false high of caffeine this morning... Or comments co-workers made at lunch.
I try not to bitch about co-workers. I really, really do. When I first came there was a small bitchy cabal going, however all four of them have left here now (Yay! Shouldn't be pleased about it but I am.) and there isn't a bitchy group left. Or, more correctly, they're all younger than me so generally I couldn't give a stuff.
However, one was talking about going out on the Melbourne Cup Day with her dad, and that she didn't have a nice dress to wear but didn't think she could con him into buying one for her (I'm paraphrasing here). Another turned round and said she should phrase it as an investment in his daughter's future. "Doesn't he want his daughter to grow and get married?" When I was a little disbelieving about this attitude and that's it's as medieval as dowry's, she clarified "Well, doesn't he want his daughter to date and fall in love to be happy?"
Am I the only one seeing red on this?
Seriously, I want a reality check here. Am I taking this far too seriously, and this is just a normal attitude that girls have to their fathers? I've never been a Daddy's Girl (Mummy's Girl, sure *g*), I've never played these crappy little girl games to get what I want. I've never needed to. I've only had to ask Mum (and sometimes, I only needed to hint, didn't even need to ask outright).
So, am I being insane when I hear that comment and think you can't seriously believe that your father should invest in his daughter by making her attractive and marrying her off? That her happiness really shouldn't rely upon falling in love and getting married. It should be about her growing as a person, becoming confident in who she is, achieving things that matter to her.
*sigh* The problem is I really don't know. I didn't comment because it was obvious that those two saw it as natural, as something to joke about. I could have ranted, and I think I would have stood out like a sore thumb, as someone far too serious and far too concentrated on outdated feminism. I really don't think of myself as a feminist... I think of myself as pretty damn conservative and happy to go with the status quo, but I also don't like those little comments.
I hate the way that I come across these kind of attitudes, and my natural reaction makes me sit back and think, "hmmmm, no one else is reacting like this? I wonder if I'm so far from the norm that I can't even see it in the distance?"
Okay, I think I need to go to bed and get a good night's sleep. Or, failing that, get some work done in this last hour.
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no subject
Date: 2003-09-21 11:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-21 11:43 pm (UTC)Man, that picked me right up. *bg*
*hugs Bernice* Thanks!
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Date: 2003-09-21 11:38 pm (UTC)P.S. It's a good thing they apparently have rich daddies, as it doesn't sound as though they have a lot of life skills.
no subject
Date: 2003-09-21 11:58 pm (UTC)I've probably painted them as more superficial than they are, and one's 19 and one's just 21, so they're only young... but I'm 22 and I wouldn't say anything like that.
Still, thanks for the reassurance. It's nice to know that it's not being being ridiculously anal over a little comment, it's actually a comment that most women would give them a funny look for saying. *g*
no subject
Date: 2003-09-22 12:49 am (UTC)Hah! Believe me, you're not crazy. My dad would NEVER say something like that about any of his daughters. "Frame it as an investment?" That's just crazy talk... I mean, suppose it all works out and they do "catch" a guy, then what? They're set for life? Not the way things work these days. Doesn't matter if you're a guy or a girl, you've got to be self-supporting.
I mean, I'm sure my parents DO want me to fall in love and be happy, and I *know* my mom wants grandkids, but when it comes to monetary support, they don't buy me clothes to catch men with... they buy me textbooks and school supplies! *That's* an investment in my future, y'know?
no subject
Date: 2003-09-22 12:59 am (UTC)*nods* Yes, and I couldn't have put it better myself. *beams at Livia*
It's just... sometimes you hear these attitudes, and you're immediate reaction is such a strong "No way!" but everyone else acts like you're saying the sky is green? Yeah, you just wonder if the sky really is green, or maybe you need a new prescription on your glasses.
Umm... yeah, and on that note, I'm going home to crawl up in front of Sports Night or The Sentinel tapes. *g*
Thanks.