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Dec. 5th, 2003 12:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
out_thereAm getting through this morning on sugar and caffeine (ie. a bottle of coke and one and half Mars Bars so far... and I still feel exhausted).
I got feedback on my 5 Things that Happened to Sam fic, and started thinking. She mentioned that poor Sam never quite got what he wanted, which made me start thinking. See, the entire reason for writing that fic was to make Sam happy. In my mind, even though the bits and pieces weren't all cheery, they were all Sam victories, of a sort.
The first one meant that Sam's parents probably didn't blow up and upset him in S2. Maybe Sam's father did stop seeing the girl, but more likely, Sam's mother *knew*. I could easily imagine her as the type of woman who knew about it and turned a blind eye, chose financial stability over fidelity. So, she wouldn't have been surprised when she found out Sam's father was still seeing the girl, and possibly wouldn't have turned it into a big thing. There's a chance that Sam would have lived his entire life without really standing back and questioning his belief in his father, his belief in himself.
Alternatively, maybe it did still explode, maybe Sam did still find out, and also realised that his mother *knew*. I guess it's because I see Sam as respecting his father more than his mother, being closer to him, defining himself more through his love. The big problem wasn't that his mother was hurt, the big problem was that his father *lied*, that his father was undoubtedly the bad guy in that situation. So, if Sam's mother *knew*, Sam wouldn't automatically blame his father quite as much, he'd forgive him more, and probably (unfairly) blame his mother more, but the end result would be that he wouldn't have felt the betrayal as deeply, or be forced to think about it as much.
The second is obvious wish-fulfillment. Not only does Sam save the day for the environment, he does it while retaining his job, and managing to be the one with the bright idea that changes Josh's life. I will always firmly believe that in the flashback, both Josh and Sam were at a stand-still point in teir professional lives. Both of them had reached where they were aiming for, and both had become disilusioned with what it was. Hence, I do think it's a reasonable assumption that if Josh hadn't heard the end of Bartlet's reply, if he hadn't been inspired, that he would have quit politics and working for Hoynes. Plus, the idea of Sam and Josh working as lawyers in NY just pleases me no end. There's a possiblity of a relationship there that could have been satisfying and rewarding, without necessarily having to be hidden from the world.
The third one is another Sam victory, of a sort. He gets to be the supportive one, the one looking after Josh in his hour of need, and there's a big Sam/Josh fangirl part of me that really likes that idea. That really likes the idea of Josh feeling vulnerable, and still letting Sam in.
The fourth one... Okay, Sam doesn't quite get what he wants, but he's still happy. He may be living in total denial, but he's happy. He's managed to stay close friends with Josh and Lisa, he feels like he's seen the important parts of their lives, he's watched his close friends be very happy. Moreover, he's a Sam who still believes in love and romance, who still sees it as utterly possible, regardless of life's difficulties. He's a more personally idealistic Sam, who knows deep-down, that he'll eventually fall in love and be just as happy as Josh. He's less jaded and less hurt, and that pleases me.
The fifth one... okay, I can't even claim that Sam is happy, but he's... almost vindicated. He knows and he's mature enough to still do his job. He may still be hurt when he finds out, bu he'll be hurt for different reasons. He'll be hurt because they didn't trust him, but he'll have had time to adjust to the actual news. He'll know deep-down that he can still do his job regardless of how sensitive they think he is, that he doesn't need to be coddled. He won't doubt his own value, but he will doubt the way they treat him. And when the opportunity comes up to do his own thing later on, he'll take it, knowing that he's capable of more than they give him credit for. So, it's not a happySam, so much as... a more self-assured Sam, and therefore, a less unhappy-Sam.
This is the reason why I write. I want my guys (and the occasional girl, but generally my guys) to be happy. I don't want them hurt, but if they do hurt, I want to all be worth it. Hence, my latest spurt of SN fic, where the endings are always Casey and Dan, either good friends, or something more. Hence, the WW fics, which always end with warm friendships or reassured lovers. It even partly explains my offer of Justin/Brian fic, because we all know they'll just end up happily screwing like bunnies by the end of the fic.
To an extent, it even explains why I don't write too much SV anymore. SV is one of the few fandoms where the fics don't always turn out happy. Sometimes, they just hurt and let us know why the characters are unhappy. But my favourite fics, are still the ones that end up with a happy Clark and Lex at the end (eg. Colours, The Gods Hate Kansas, etc).
Of course, the other big reason I write is peer validation, but I'm trying not to sound like too much of a feedback ho. *bg*
Vocab Meme:
Age: 22
Where did you grow up: Canberra, Australia (although, parents are british, so some stuff isn't precisely Aussie...)
What do you call...
1. A body of water, smaller than a river, contained within relatively narrow banks?
A creek.
2. The thing you push around the grocery store?
Shopping trolley.
3. A metal container to carry a meal in?
A lunchbox
4. The thing that you cook bacon and eggs in?
Frying pan.
5. The piece of furniture that seats three people?
A couch.
6. The device on the outside of the house that carries rain off the roof?
A gutter
7. The covered area outside a house where people sit in the evening?
Veranda. They may technically be patios, decks or whatever, but they'll always be verandas in my mind.
(Starts singing... "Give me a house amongst the gum trees, with lots of plum trees, a dog* or two and a kangaroo, clothesline out the back, veranda out the front and an old rocking chair..."
* Yes, I know that's supposed to be sheep, not dog. But in primary school, we always sung it as dog. Or, at least that's the way I remember it. *g*)
8. Carbonated, sweetened, non-alcoholic beverages?
The brandname (ie. coke, pepsi, lemonade, fanta, lift, whatever.)
9. A flat, round breakfast food served with syrup?
A pancake (I'm tempted to say pikelets, but they're smaller, sweeter, and served as snacks, not breakfast).
10. A long sandwich designed to be a whole meal in itself?
A huge, whopin' roll? Probably a roll, or a big sandwich. Doesn't have it's own special name.
11. The piece of clothing worn by men at the beach?
Swimsuit (speedos or trunks)
12. Shoes worn for sports?
Sneakers or runners.
13. Putting a room in order?
Cleaning up or tidying up.
14. A flying insect that glows in the dark?
Fireflies, I guess. I've never seen them.
15. The little insect that curls up into a ball?
The little bug that rolls into a ball. I used to love them as a kid (picking 'em up, watching them roll up, and then slowly unroll and walk across your hand *g*), but never had a particular name for them.
16. The children's playground equipment where one kid sits on one side and goes up while the other sits on the other side and goes down?
A see-saw. It comes complete with it's own song. ("See-saw, marjorie door, Johnnie shall have a new master. And he shall earn but a penny a day, because he can't work any faster." Trust me, it's this really sing-songy tune that works well with slow up-down of a see-saw.)
17. How do you eat your pizza?
With my hands, corner first, unless it's hot (then I eat all the edges first because they're cooler)
18. The act of private citizens putting up signs and selling their used stuff?
Garage sale.
19. The evening meal?
Dinner. It's breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner (and late night snacks). I also occasionally have brunch, but not often as it's a combination of lunch and breakfast, which results in one less meal overall. *bg*
20. The thing under a house where the furnace and perhaps a rec room are?
A basement. Bottom floor.
I got feedback on my 5 Things that Happened to Sam fic, and started thinking. She mentioned that poor Sam never quite got what he wanted, which made me start thinking. See, the entire reason for writing that fic was to make Sam happy. In my mind, even though the bits and pieces weren't all cheery, they were all Sam victories, of a sort.
The first one meant that Sam's parents probably didn't blow up and upset him in S2. Maybe Sam's father did stop seeing the girl, but more likely, Sam's mother *knew*. I could easily imagine her as the type of woman who knew about it and turned a blind eye, chose financial stability over fidelity. So, she wouldn't have been surprised when she found out Sam's father was still seeing the girl, and possibly wouldn't have turned it into a big thing. There's a chance that Sam would have lived his entire life without really standing back and questioning his belief in his father, his belief in himself.
Alternatively, maybe it did still explode, maybe Sam did still find out, and also realised that his mother *knew*. I guess it's because I see Sam as respecting his father more than his mother, being closer to him, defining himself more through his love. The big problem wasn't that his mother was hurt, the big problem was that his father *lied*, that his father was undoubtedly the bad guy in that situation. So, if Sam's mother *knew*, Sam wouldn't automatically blame his father quite as much, he'd forgive him more, and probably (unfairly) blame his mother more, but the end result would be that he wouldn't have felt the betrayal as deeply, or be forced to think about it as much.
The second is obvious wish-fulfillment. Not only does Sam save the day for the environment, he does it while retaining his job, and managing to be the one with the bright idea that changes Josh's life. I will always firmly believe that in the flashback, both Josh and Sam were at a stand-still point in teir professional lives. Both of them had reached where they were aiming for, and both had become disilusioned with what it was. Hence, I do think it's a reasonable assumption that if Josh hadn't heard the end of Bartlet's reply, if he hadn't been inspired, that he would have quit politics and working for Hoynes. Plus, the idea of Sam and Josh working as lawyers in NY just pleases me no end. There's a possiblity of a relationship there that could have been satisfying and rewarding, without necessarily having to be hidden from the world.
The third one is another Sam victory, of a sort. He gets to be the supportive one, the one looking after Josh in his hour of need, and there's a big Sam/Josh fangirl part of me that really likes that idea. That really likes the idea of Josh feeling vulnerable, and still letting Sam in.
The fourth one... Okay, Sam doesn't quite get what he wants, but he's still happy. He may be living in total denial, but he's happy. He's managed to stay close friends with Josh and Lisa, he feels like he's seen the important parts of their lives, he's watched his close friends be very happy. Moreover, he's a Sam who still believes in love and romance, who still sees it as utterly possible, regardless of life's difficulties. He's a more personally idealistic Sam, who knows deep-down, that he'll eventually fall in love and be just as happy as Josh. He's less jaded and less hurt, and that pleases me.
The fifth one... okay, I can't even claim that Sam is happy, but he's... almost vindicated. He knows and he's mature enough to still do his job. He may still be hurt when he finds out, bu he'll be hurt for different reasons. He'll be hurt because they didn't trust him, but he'll have had time to adjust to the actual news. He'll know deep-down that he can still do his job regardless of how sensitive they think he is, that he doesn't need to be coddled. He won't doubt his own value, but he will doubt the way they treat him. And when the opportunity comes up to do his own thing later on, he'll take it, knowing that he's capable of more than they give him credit for. So, it's not a happySam, so much as... a more self-assured Sam, and therefore, a less unhappy-Sam.
This is the reason why I write. I want my guys (and the occasional girl, but generally my guys) to be happy. I don't want them hurt, but if they do hurt, I want to all be worth it. Hence, my latest spurt of SN fic, where the endings are always Casey and Dan, either good friends, or something more. Hence, the WW fics, which always end with warm friendships or reassured lovers. It even partly explains my offer of Justin/Brian fic, because we all know they'll just end up happily screwing like bunnies by the end of the fic.
To an extent, it even explains why I don't write too much SV anymore. SV is one of the few fandoms where the fics don't always turn out happy. Sometimes, they just hurt and let us know why the characters are unhappy. But my favourite fics, are still the ones that end up with a happy Clark and Lex at the end (eg. Colours, The Gods Hate Kansas, etc).
Of course, the other big reason I write is peer validation, but I'm trying not to sound like too much of a feedback ho. *bg*
Vocab Meme:
Age: 22
Where did you grow up: Canberra, Australia (although, parents are british, so some stuff isn't precisely Aussie...)
What do you call...
1. A body of water, smaller than a river, contained within relatively narrow banks?
A creek.
2. The thing you push around the grocery store?
Shopping trolley.
3. A metal container to carry a meal in?
A lunchbox
4. The thing that you cook bacon and eggs in?
Frying pan.
5. The piece of furniture that seats three people?
A couch.
6. The device on the outside of the house that carries rain off the roof?
A gutter
7. The covered area outside a house where people sit in the evening?
Veranda. They may technically be patios, decks or whatever, but they'll always be verandas in my mind.
(Starts singing... "Give me a house amongst the gum trees, with lots of plum trees, a dog* or two and a kangaroo, clothesline out the back, veranda out the front and an old rocking chair..."
* Yes, I know that's supposed to be sheep, not dog. But in primary school, we always sung it as dog. Or, at least that's the way I remember it. *g*)
8. Carbonated, sweetened, non-alcoholic beverages?
The brandname (ie. coke, pepsi, lemonade, fanta, lift, whatever.)
9. A flat, round breakfast food served with syrup?
A pancake (I'm tempted to say pikelets, but they're smaller, sweeter, and served as snacks, not breakfast).
10. A long sandwich designed to be a whole meal in itself?
A huge, whopin' roll? Probably a roll, or a big sandwich. Doesn't have it's own special name.
11. The piece of clothing worn by men at the beach?
Swimsuit (speedos or trunks)
12. Shoes worn for sports?
Sneakers or runners.
13. Putting a room in order?
Cleaning up or tidying up.
14. A flying insect that glows in the dark?
Fireflies, I guess. I've never seen them.
15. The little insect that curls up into a ball?
The little bug that rolls into a ball. I used to love them as a kid (picking 'em up, watching them roll up, and then slowly unroll and walk across your hand *g*), but never had a particular name for them.
16. The children's playground equipment where one kid sits on one side and goes up while the other sits on the other side and goes down?
A see-saw. It comes complete with it's own song. ("See-saw, marjorie door, Johnnie shall have a new master. And he shall earn but a penny a day, because he can't work any faster." Trust me, it's this really sing-songy tune that works well with slow up-down of a see-saw.)
17. How do you eat your pizza?
With my hands, corner first, unless it's hot (then I eat all the edges first because they're cooler)
18. The act of private citizens putting up signs and selling their used stuff?
Garage sale.
19. The evening meal?
Dinner. It's breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner (and late night snacks). I also occasionally have brunch, but not often as it's a combination of lunch and breakfast, which results in one less meal overall. *bg*
20. The thing under a house where the furnace and perhaps a rec room are?
A basement. Bottom floor.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-04 05:40 pm (UTC)We had a teeter-totter song. "Teeter-totter, teeter-totter, bread and water. Wash your face in dirty water, teeter-totter, teeter-totter."
I can't believe I just typed those words out. *g*
no subject
Date: 2003-12-04 05:48 pm (UTC)Mind you, the songs you sang as a little kid stick in your mind. I can still remember the songs we used to skip to. One of the favourites was Cinderella. (And at the time we thought it was so naughty and rude *g*)
"Cinderella,
Dressed in yeller (you need to pronouse yellow like that or the rhyme doesn't work *g*)
Went downtown to meet her feller.
On the way her panties busted.
How many people were disgusted?"
And then you count. I don't think I ever got up to ten. I was never particularly talented at physical sports. *g*