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Dec. 21st, 2003 11:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
out_thereJust watched a Xander vid ("Some Fantastic"... man, that's a great canon Xander vid) and got to thinking about relationships, specifically Xander/Anya and Willow/Tara. Now, I've always been more of a supporter for W/T. I *liked* them as a pair, and they always seemed so in love.
X/A originally struck me a great example of settling for the best you can get. Neither of them was perfect for the other person, both had flaws which drove the other nuts. It took me until... S6, I think, to really believe they were in love, not just sexually compatable and convenient. Now, W/T, I never had any trouble believing they were in love with each other, that to a great extent their lives revolved around the other. It was obvious.
The interesting thing is that in the long term, W/T was very unhealthy for both of them. The relationship did some damage and encouraged the insecurities that were already there, while making it appear that they were far healthier than they were. X/A wasn't perfect, wasn't that head-over-heels, romantic, starry-eyed love, but it was good for both of them. Both Xander and Anya grew as people, became better people through experiencing that relationship.
Hmmm... I'm just thinking vaguely about imperfect relationships being healthier for you in the long run. It's the ones that appear perfect that do the unseen damage. (I think that deep-down, I agree with this, the same way that deep-down, I never trust people who are too polite and too nice. It's that belief in equality and balance; as nice as someone is, they have the same capacity to be nasty.) My brain wants to link this thought to Dan/Casey, but I'm honestly not sure how.
X/A originally struck me a great example of settling for the best you can get. Neither of them was perfect for the other person, both had flaws which drove the other nuts. It took me until... S6, I think, to really believe they were in love, not just sexually compatable and convenient. Now, W/T, I never had any trouble believing they were in love with each other, that to a great extent their lives revolved around the other. It was obvious.
The interesting thing is that in the long term, W/T was very unhealthy for both of them. The relationship did some damage and encouraged the insecurities that were already there, while making it appear that they were far healthier than they were. X/A wasn't perfect, wasn't that head-over-heels, romantic, starry-eyed love, but it was good for both of them. Both Xander and Anya grew as people, became better people through experiencing that relationship.
Hmmm... I'm just thinking vaguely about imperfect relationships being healthier for you in the long run. It's the ones that appear perfect that do the unseen damage. (I think that deep-down, I agree with this, the same way that deep-down, I never trust people who are too polite and too nice. It's that belief in equality and balance; as nice as someone is, they have the same capacity to be nasty.) My brain wants to link this thought to Dan/Casey, but I'm honestly not sure how.
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Date: 2003-12-21 04:50 am (UTC)I agree with your analysis of W/T and X/A's relationships. The problem with Willow and Tara's relationship also was that it was very imbalanced, but at the same time they had the pressure to make it appear perfect. It's the same thing with Buffy and Riley, I think. At least the way it must have seemed to the Scoobies. Only Xander really noticed it wasn't as perfect as it seemed.
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Date: 2003-12-21 05:03 am (UTC)I was about to say I didn't have a clue, but you're very lucky. The info is still in DAP.
Let's see, the Xander vid is here:
http://homepage.mac.com/laurashapiro/sfantastic_dl.rm
While you're downloading vids, I'd also suggest Transparent, which is a wonderful canon-Willow vid, here:
http://homepage.mac.com/laurashapiro/transparent_online_final.rm
They're both by Laura Shapiro, but they're my favourite canonical BtVS vids.
Only Xander really noticed it wasn't as perfect as it seemed.
*cheers observant!Xander* Man, did I love the way he talked to Buffy about that.
I mean, I guess you could also make an arguement for the fact that Xander and Anya were both personally strong enough to admit that neither they, nor their relationship, was perfect. That all of the relationships were screwed up, but only X/A could openly show this to their friends. *shrugs* I'm just... there's a bigger thought there, but I'm too tired to reach it.
Still, download the vids. They're *great*.
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Date: 2003-12-21 05:10 am (UTC)Have you seen any of here's luck vids? Hers are wonderful as well. And, of course, Luminosity's and sisabet's. Theirs are more AtS centric though.
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Date: 2003-12-21 05:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-21 05:26 am (UTC)Sisabet's and Luminosity's vids can be found here:
www.headtilt.com
I like 'Peacekeeper', but my favourite is definitely 'The Pretender'. 'Closer' is a must if you like Spike/Angel. And 'Cowboy' and 'Without me' are pretty funny. Sisabet's Spuffy vid isn't bad either, but if you want to see the ultimate Spike/ Buffy vid, try 'The other side' by Luminosity. I've seen a lot of vids, really, and this still is my favourite.
There's also an EvilWillow vid that I like a lot, 'South West Voodoo'.
And if you're into Wes/ Angel, you have to watch 'So real'. Actually, you have to watch it if you aren't as well. There's this one scene... it's breathtaking. I die every time I watch it.
Do you watch Angel?
Here's luck's vids are here: http://www.heresluck.net/
'Superstar' is a gorgeous Faith vid, one of the best. 'Atropine' and 'Writing notes' are both W/T vids, and they're somewhat different than the usual. Very good.
And then there's also vrya... she has the best Spike video ever made, in my opinion. It's called 'Schism'. You can find it here: http://vrya.net/ts/index.php#vids
'Sleep alone' is a very good Buffy/Angel dream vid. It's also interesting stylistically.
Uff, that are a lot of recs...I hope that helped. Do you have a dial-up connection or broadband? *lol*
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Date: 2003-12-21 05:34 am (UTC)I've been by headtilt before, and found Cowboy highly amusing and oddly appropriate. For a Wes fan like myself, the Pretender is quite a fave. *g*
And if you're into Wes/ Angel, you have to watch 'So real'.
Hmmm... I'm actually more of a Wes/Gunn gal myself, but I'll check it out.
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Date: 2003-12-21 10:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-21 03:10 pm (UTC)It's so... you don't even think about the hurt/bitterness/crueler side of Willow, and then you see the vid, and you realise it's been staring you in the face for the entire series. It just... makes S6 finale make so much *sense*.
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Date: 2003-12-22 01:50 am (UTC)It does. I loved the way the chorus of the song was used, especially with Veruca and Glory.
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Date: 2003-12-21 05:07 am (UTC)http://www.laurasha.com/
You need to email her for access. (It's a bit of hassle, but the vids are worth it.)
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Date: 2003-12-21 05:32 am (UTC)Is the niftiest entry I have ever read.
I just wanted to mention that.
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Date: 2003-12-21 05:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-21 05:37 am (UTC)