out_there | Protecting Your Sports Anchor from the Sasser Worm

Software Affected
- Red-blooded males within a 10' radius.

Software Not Affected
- Other professional women
- Males who are intimidated by high levels of attractiveness

If your Sports Anchor keeps emotionally shutting down, print these instructions for yourself, or to help a friend:

Instructions for dealing with the Sasser Worm

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Microsoft teams have confirmed that the Sasser worm (W32.Sasser.A and its variants) is currently circulating in the workplace. They have verified that the worm exploits the Lazy But Horny Subsystem (LBHS) that tends to flare up in Sports Anchors who have been single for long periods of time and are vulnerable due to living an awkward daily routine.

To protect your Sports Anchor against Sasser and its variants, do the following:

Step 1: Enable a Firewall
Before you take other steps, make sure you have a firewall activated to help protect your Sports Anchor against infection. This can be done by assuring that Sasser and its variants are given no time alone with the Sports Anchor. This can generally be done through close supervision of the Sports Anchor

Step 2: Install the Required Update
It is important to have a secondary Sports Anchor in place, which generally occupies the primary Sports Anchors time. If you do this, the Sasser worm will most likely be blocked. If your Sports Anchor has been infected, activating the secondary Sports Anchor's 'Protective' mode will help limit the effects of the worm on your computer. For comprehensive guidance to installing and enabling a secondary Sports Anchor, see the Microsoft Protect Your Co-Workers site.

Step 3: Automatically Check For and Remove Sasser
You can use this tool to search your workplace for and try to remove Sasser.A, Sasser.B, Sasser.C, and Sasser.D. To do so, click Check My Workplace for Infection.

Important: To use this tool, you must be running an efficient workplace, and you must have already installed the 'Remove Skanky Hos' update released with Microsoft Personal Boundaries Bulletin.

Note: After you click Check My Workplace for Infection, a Microsoft End-User License Agreement is displayed. In the window, click I Agree, and then click Continue. If you see a message advising you that the tool is loading, click OK to proceed.

Note: If you have difficulty running the tool from this page, it may be due to your office's personal boundaries settings. If you have any problems, try downloading the tool directly from the Microsoft.com Download Center and then running it manually.

Step 4: Review Additional Technical Resources
If the scanning and cleaning tool does not work for you, try using one of the free worm removal tools available at these antivirus software vendors' Web sites:

Computer Associates
Skanks No More
Flirt Removal
Nymphotec
If you prefer to remove the worm manually (for advanced users only), see the Microsoft Relationship Support Services (RSS) Response Team alert for technical guidance.

Relationship professionals can get a technical status report on Sasser by watching the May 4 "Technical Update on the Sasser Worm" webcast.

Step 5: Learn How to Protect Your Sports Anchor
To help protect your co-workers against a wide variety of security threats, see Protect Your Workplace.