SN WIP: Danny in therapy fic - Part 4
Oct. 13th, 2004 02:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
out_thereSorry, y'all. This may be rough, and it's being written in weird little bitelets, but at least it's slowly happening. (The worst thing is that I have a couple future scenes written up, and that always seems to make me take three times as long to get there. I should know not to write future scenes out of sequence.)
Part One, Part Two and Part Three. Part Four below.
***
Dan fished his cell phone out of his pocket. He didn't recognize the number but he answered it anyway. "Hello?"
"Hi, Danny," Abby said dryly.
"Oh, hey, Abby." Dan glanced across the kitchen at Sue, who had raised a dark eyebrow at him. "I'm going to take this outside," he said, holding the phone against his shoulder.
Sue grinned. "Can't let your admirers down?"
"Something like that," Dan called over his shoulder as he pushed the back door open. He sat down, shifting on the cool wooden stairs as he looked at his cell. Grimacing, he raised it to his ear. "Hey, again."
"It's nine o'clock," she pointed out.
"It probably is."
"You didn't call."
"I got caught up talking to Sue. She's still in the kitchen, if you want to check my alibi."
"Does she know who I am?"
"She knows you're a woman talking to me on the phone."
"But she doesn't know I'm your therapist?"
Dan snorted. "Is there a reason she'd need to know?"
"None of your family knows your seeing me," Abby said without surprise.
"Why prove I'm as screwed up as they always thought?" Dan asked wryly. "My family doesn't have a high opinion of shrinks."
"A lot of people don't."
Dan smirked. "They just don't know you as well as I do."
"Obviously," Abby replied and Dan managed a laugh. "Can you talk?"
"I'm physically able to speak, yes."
"Can you talk for a while?"
"Yeah."
"You want to tell me more about Sunday?"
Dan stretched his head back, staring at the dark sky above. A few stars twinkled weakly. "Not particularly."
"But you're going to tell me about making up with Casey, right?"
"Can't this stuff wait until I'm back?"
"Why?" Abby asked so calmly he had an urge to groan.
Instead, Dan drew a deep breath through his nose. "I'm not good on the phone."
"I know."
"So I don't want to talk on the phone."
"Which would be fine," Abby said, "if you didn't need to talk about it. But I think you do."
"So?"
"So I'm your therapist."
"So if you say talk, I talk?" Dan asked sarcastically. "Is that how it usually works with us?"
"I can hope." Abby sighed. "If you don't want to talk to me, I can't force you."
"Good."
"But you must have noticed that you're carefully pushing everyone away. I'd be pretty bad at what I do if I let you push me away too." Abby paused for a moment, and Dan didn't know what to say. "And I'm very good at what I do."
Dan drew his legs up against his chest, resting his chin on his knees. "Abby, it's just... complicated."
"It always is."
There was a long moment of silence, only broken by the occasional sound of a car, typical suburban traffic. Then Dan forced himself to speak. "I went over to see Casey."
"When?"
"Monday morning. Before the show." Dan bit his lip, hard. When the sharp bloom of pain dissipated, he said, "I went over to his place."
"What happened?"
"He apologized," Dan replied quickly.
"What else happened?"
"I was an idiot," Dan tried to joke, but his voice fell flat. "He apologized and I screwed it up."
***
"It's seven in the morning," Casey growled sleepily as he rattled the locks on his front door. "I tell you, there had better be a life threatening emergency or you are a dead man, Danny."
Casey opened the door blearily. He had stubble and bad bed hair, and he was wearing the red plaid pajamas Charlie had bought him last Christmas.
"I know it's early." Dan crossed his arms. "I just needed to say sorry. About not--"
"I was a jerk," Casey said simply. Dan looked up in surprise. "An incredibly *huge* jerk."
Dan stood there in stunned silence. Eventually, he managed, "You know, I had a whole apology speech ready."
"I'm still working on mine," Casey replied with a sleepy grin. "If you come back when I'm awake, I'll have the details ironed out. But the condensed version is I'm sorry and I shouldn't have acted that way. There's no excusing it."
"You didn't know," Dan said hastily. "And I should have told you--"
"That's no excuse." Casey yawned, stretching his hands above his head. "So what are you doing here at this time of morning?"
"I'm apologizing." Dan shrugged. "Or I was going to."
Casey leaned a hand against the open doorway. "How come you're even up?"
"I was walking around Manhattan. Just walking and thinking how I'd feel if the boot had been on the other hand," Dan muttered.
Casey winced at the mixed metaphors. "You'd be angry?"
"Yeah."
"Would you turn around and yell at me for it?"
"No."
"See? I should have asked if you were okay." Casey grinned, as if his point was proved. Then his expression sobered. "Are you okay, Danny?"
Dan closed his eyes and nodded. "Yeah."
"Really?" Casey asked gently, and Dan's throat suddenly closed up. All he could do was swallow and nod. "How's your dad?"
"Expecting the results any day now," Dan managed. "Then..." He couldn't say the words. He couldn't physically say the words. Couldn't say 'surgery' and 'medication' because that was a step too close to 'fatal' and 'death'; a step too close to things he couldn't think about, not yet. It must have shown on his face, because Casey took a step forward and simply wrapped his arms around Dan.
Dan grabbed at Casey's shirt and buried his face in plaid flannel, not bothering to hide how much he needed this. Casey's hugs had always had their own type of comfort. They weren't like anyone else's. Not gentle like Natalie's, or careful like Isaac's, but always a little too tight, a little too firm; like Casey had forgotten his own strength and just needed to hold on.
Casey's arms were a band around Dan's ribcage, tight enough that Dan had a little trouble breathing. For a moment, it felt like everything was going to be fine, and then it wasn't. Dan couldn't explain it; he just needed to be up and gone. He needed to be alone, and as far away from here as he could get. Scrambling out of Casey's embrace, Dan pulled back quickly.
"Danny?"
"I've got to go, Casey. I just. I have to go."
"Danny," Casey repeated slowly, his fingers digging into Dan's shoulders, holding him there. "Stay. Talk. Have a cup of coffee."
Shaking his head, Dan tried to step back but Casey shadowed him into the hallway. "I can't stay, Casey. I can't."
But Casey didn't let go. He kept holding on to Dan's shoulders. "Danny, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," Dan said, but Casey didn't seem convinced. He just kept watching him with kind brown eyes and this small concerned frown, until Dan couldn't stand it.
There are some moments that are over before you notice them, and there are other's that last forever. It felt like ice ages came and went as he leaned closer to Casey, as Casey's eyes widened in surprise, as Casey started to say something and Dan muffled it with a kiss.
***
"You kissed him?" Abby asked. She sounded a little shocked, and it was nice to know that some things could surprise her.
"That's what I said, isn't it?"
"What happened?"
Dan looked over his shoulder, making sure the door behind him was closed. "You know, that whole cliché of kissing a straight guy, and his first reaction is to give you a black eye? It's not such a cliché. Trust me."
"He hit you?"
"No. I'm just saying he could have hit me. But he didn't."
"Why?"
"Why didn't he hit me? Because Casey isn't that sort of guy. He'd rather exchange witty barbs than punches," Dan explained. "Besides, boxing really isn't his forte."
"Why did you kiss him?"
"I just did, Abby. There wasn't a why."
"Do you normally go around kissing random guys?"
Dan rolled his eyes. "No."
"But you kissed Casey?"
"It was a moment of insanity. That's the only possible explanation."
"It's not the only explanation," Abby said firmly.
Dan shrugged. "Another one is that I'm an idiot."
Abby was silent for a long moment, and Dan had the sudden mental image of her scribbling down notes. It was unnerving. Eventually, she asked, "What did Casey do?"
"What?"
"Did he kiss you back?"
Dan snorted. "No."
"What did he do?"
"He pushed me away."
"Did he say anything?"
Dan shook his head, belatedly remembering he was on the phone. "No."
"He just stood there in silence?" Abby asked doubtfully.
"He just stood there," Dan said, shifting on the hard wooden stairs, "and I made my exit as quickly as I could."
"You just left? Without saying anything?"
"What's there to say?" Dan asked harshly. "Sorry for that moment of insanity? That despite that display of stupidity, I really am fine?"
"I don't think you are."
Dan sneered. "And that's your professional opinion?"
Abby sighed deeply. "It's not something we're going to solve tonight, Dan. And you haven't told me what happened to your father."
The breeze wasn't cold, but Dan still shivered. "He's going in for bypass surgery tomorrow afternoon. I took the week off, and the family's gathered round."
"Did you tell Casey?"
"I told Isaac and Natalie."
"But you didn't tell Casey?"
Dan huddled further into his jacket. "I haven't spoken to him."
"Since you kissed him and then ran away?"
"You make me sound like Georgie Porgie," Dan said, thinking of childhood nursery rhymes.
"If the shoe fits."
"It's not--" Dan huffed out a sigh. "He's busy doing the show, and I'm trying to deal with my family without tearing my hair out by the roots. The rest of it can wait until I get back to New York."
"Could you give me a call tomorrow? Let me know what happens with your father?"
"Sure."
"And this time, could you actually call me?" Abby asked pointedly.
"Yes, I'll call you," Dan promised. "Night, Abby."
***
Part One, Part Two and Part Three. Part Four below.
***
Dan fished his cell phone out of his pocket. He didn't recognize the number but he answered it anyway. "Hello?"
"Hi, Danny," Abby said dryly.
"Oh, hey, Abby." Dan glanced across the kitchen at Sue, who had raised a dark eyebrow at him. "I'm going to take this outside," he said, holding the phone against his shoulder.
Sue grinned. "Can't let your admirers down?"
"Something like that," Dan called over his shoulder as he pushed the back door open. He sat down, shifting on the cool wooden stairs as he looked at his cell. Grimacing, he raised it to his ear. "Hey, again."
"It's nine o'clock," she pointed out.
"It probably is."
"You didn't call."
"I got caught up talking to Sue. She's still in the kitchen, if you want to check my alibi."
"Does she know who I am?"
"She knows you're a woman talking to me on the phone."
"But she doesn't know I'm your therapist?"
Dan snorted. "Is there a reason she'd need to know?"
"None of your family knows your seeing me," Abby said without surprise.
"Why prove I'm as screwed up as they always thought?" Dan asked wryly. "My family doesn't have a high opinion of shrinks."
"A lot of people don't."
Dan smirked. "They just don't know you as well as I do."
"Obviously," Abby replied and Dan managed a laugh. "Can you talk?"
"I'm physically able to speak, yes."
"Can you talk for a while?"
"Yeah."
"You want to tell me more about Sunday?"
Dan stretched his head back, staring at the dark sky above. A few stars twinkled weakly. "Not particularly."
"But you're going to tell me about making up with Casey, right?"
"Can't this stuff wait until I'm back?"
"Why?" Abby asked so calmly he had an urge to groan.
Instead, Dan drew a deep breath through his nose. "I'm not good on the phone."
"I know."
"So I don't want to talk on the phone."
"Which would be fine," Abby said, "if you didn't need to talk about it. But I think you do."
"So?"
"So I'm your therapist."
"So if you say talk, I talk?" Dan asked sarcastically. "Is that how it usually works with us?"
"I can hope." Abby sighed. "If you don't want to talk to me, I can't force you."
"Good."
"But you must have noticed that you're carefully pushing everyone away. I'd be pretty bad at what I do if I let you push me away too." Abby paused for a moment, and Dan didn't know what to say. "And I'm very good at what I do."
Dan drew his legs up against his chest, resting his chin on his knees. "Abby, it's just... complicated."
"It always is."
There was a long moment of silence, only broken by the occasional sound of a car, typical suburban traffic. Then Dan forced himself to speak. "I went over to see Casey."
"When?"
"Monday morning. Before the show." Dan bit his lip, hard. When the sharp bloom of pain dissipated, he said, "I went over to his place."
"What happened?"
"He apologized," Dan replied quickly.
"What else happened?"
"I was an idiot," Dan tried to joke, but his voice fell flat. "He apologized and I screwed it up."
***
"It's seven in the morning," Casey growled sleepily as he rattled the locks on his front door. "I tell you, there had better be a life threatening emergency or you are a dead man, Danny."
Casey opened the door blearily. He had stubble and bad bed hair, and he was wearing the red plaid pajamas Charlie had bought him last Christmas.
"I know it's early." Dan crossed his arms. "I just needed to say sorry. About not--"
"I was a jerk," Casey said simply. Dan looked up in surprise. "An incredibly *huge* jerk."
Dan stood there in stunned silence. Eventually, he managed, "You know, I had a whole apology speech ready."
"I'm still working on mine," Casey replied with a sleepy grin. "If you come back when I'm awake, I'll have the details ironed out. But the condensed version is I'm sorry and I shouldn't have acted that way. There's no excusing it."
"You didn't know," Dan said hastily. "And I should have told you--"
"That's no excuse." Casey yawned, stretching his hands above his head. "So what are you doing here at this time of morning?"
"I'm apologizing." Dan shrugged. "Or I was going to."
Casey leaned a hand against the open doorway. "How come you're even up?"
"I was walking around Manhattan. Just walking and thinking how I'd feel if the boot had been on the other hand," Dan muttered.
Casey winced at the mixed metaphors. "You'd be angry?"
"Yeah."
"Would you turn around and yell at me for it?"
"No."
"See? I should have asked if you were okay." Casey grinned, as if his point was proved. Then his expression sobered. "Are you okay, Danny?"
Dan closed his eyes and nodded. "Yeah."
"Really?" Casey asked gently, and Dan's throat suddenly closed up. All he could do was swallow and nod. "How's your dad?"
"Expecting the results any day now," Dan managed. "Then..." He couldn't say the words. He couldn't physically say the words. Couldn't say 'surgery' and 'medication' because that was a step too close to 'fatal' and 'death'; a step too close to things he couldn't think about, not yet. It must have shown on his face, because Casey took a step forward and simply wrapped his arms around Dan.
Dan grabbed at Casey's shirt and buried his face in plaid flannel, not bothering to hide how much he needed this. Casey's hugs had always had their own type of comfort. They weren't like anyone else's. Not gentle like Natalie's, or careful like Isaac's, but always a little too tight, a little too firm; like Casey had forgotten his own strength and just needed to hold on.
Casey's arms were a band around Dan's ribcage, tight enough that Dan had a little trouble breathing. For a moment, it felt like everything was going to be fine, and then it wasn't. Dan couldn't explain it; he just needed to be up and gone. He needed to be alone, and as far away from here as he could get. Scrambling out of Casey's embrace, Dan pulled back quickly.
"Danny?"
"I've got to go, Casey. I just. I have to go."
"Danny," Casey repeated slowly, his fingers digging into Dan's shoulders, holding him there. "Stay. Talk. Have a cup of coffee."
Shaking his head, Dan tried to step back but Casey shadowed him into the hallway. "I can't stay, Casey. I can't."
But Casey didn't let go. He kept holding on to Dan's shoulders. "Danny, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," Dan said, but Casey didn't seem convinced. He just kept watching him with kind brown eyes and this small concerned frown, until Dan couldn't stand it.
There are some moments that are over before you notice them, and there are other's that last forever. It felt like ice ages came and went as he leaned closer to Casey, as Casey's eyes widened in surprise, as Casey started to say something and Dan muffled it with a kiss.
***
"You kissed him?" Abby asked. She sounded a little shocked, and it was nice to know that some things could surprise her.
"That's what I said, isn't it?"
"What happened?"
Dan looked over his shoulder, making sure the door behind him was closed. "You know, that whole cliché of kissing a straight guy, and his first reaction is to give you a black eye? It's not such a cliché. Trust me."
"He hit you?"
"No. I'm just saying he could have hit me. But he didn't."
"Why?"
"Why didn't he hit me? Because Casey isn't that sort of guy. He'd rather exchange witty barbs than punches," Dan explained. "Besides, boxing really isn't his forte."
"Why did you kiss him?"
"I just did, Abby. There wasn't a why."
"Do you normally go around kissing random guys?"
Dan rolled his eyes. "No."
"But you kissed Casey?"
"It was a moment of insanity. That's the only possible explanation."
"It's not the only explanation," Abby said firmly.
Dan shrugged. "Another one is that I'm an idiot."
Abby was silent for a long moment, and Dan had the sudden mental image of her scribbling down notes. It was unnerving. Eventually, she asked, "What did Casey do?"
"What?"
"Did he kiss you back?"
Dan snorted. "No."
"What did he do?"
"He pushed me away."
"Did he say anything?"
Dan shook his head, belatedly remembering he was on the phone. "No."
"He just stood there in silence?" Abby asked doubtfully.
"He just stood there," Dan said, shifting on the hard wooden stairs, "and I made my exit as quickly as I could."
"You just left? Without saying anything?"
"What's there to say?" Dan asked harshly. "Sorry for that moment of insanity? That despite that display of stupidity, I really am fine?"
"I don't think you are."
Dan sneered. "And that's your professional opinion?"
Abby sighed deeply. "It's not something we're going to solve tonight, Dan. And you haven't told me what happened to your father."
The breeze wasn't cold, but Dan still shivered. "He's going in for bypass surgery tomorrow afternoon. I took the week off, and the family's gathered round."
"Did you tell Casey?"
"I told Isaac and Natalie."
"But you didn't tell Casey?"
Dan huddled further into his jacket. "I haven't spoken to him."
"Since you kissed him and then ran away?"
"You make me sound like Georgie Porgie," Dan said, thinking of childhood nursery rhymes.
"If the shoe fits."
"It's not--" Dan huffed out a sigh. "He's busy doing the show, and I'm trying to deal with my family without tearing my hair out by the roots. The rest of it can wait until I get back to New York."
"Could you give me a call tomorrow? Let me know what happens with your father?"
"Sure."
"And this time, could you actually call me?" Abby asked pointedly.
"Yes, I'll call you," Dan promised. "Night, Abby."
***
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-10-12 09:02 pm (UTC)*hugs him* Oy.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-13 12:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-12 09:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-13 12:27 am (UTC)And it has plot! Lovely plot!
*throws streamers for plot* When it shows up, plot is a wonderful thing.
no subject
Date: 2005-09-03 09:57 am (UTC)Oh, dear sweet Danny.
no subject
Date: 2005-09-04 02:51 am (UTC)