SGA Ficlet: Of Marriage and Insults

[out_there]

Title: Of Marriage and Insults
Fandom: SGA
Summary: Teyla doesn't quite understand Earth insults.
Rating: G
Notes: Written for girl_clone who complained about SGA fics having John and Rodney marry, and go by the surname "McShep". The idea was too funny to pass up. (Unbeta'd.)



Of Marriage and Insults

Teyla stood there, her brown eyes flickering from one of them to the other. "And that is an insult?"

"Why don't you marry it?" John shrugged, only feeling a little idiotic. "Yeah."

"It's a childish taunt," Ford supplied helpfully, shifting in the puddlejumper's chair.

The corners of Teyla's mouth pulled down. "But why would Major Sheppard want to marry the puddlejumper?"

From what should have been the co-pilot's chair -- or, as John tended to refer to it, the shotgun seat -- Rodney snorted. "Because he loves it so."

"It's an inanimate object. How could he marry it?"

John craned his head around, clearly amused. "What Rodney means by that joke is that I have an inappropriate love for the jumper. That the intensity of that love is more suited to a romantic relationship."

"He does have an inappropriate love for it," Rodney complained. "Inappropriate, jealous and verging on obsessive."

"You're still not flying, Rodney." John sighed. "It's a childhood taunt, Teyla. It's used by kids to tease each other, even about friends."

"Ah," Teyla said, still sounding a little confused. She turned to Ford. "So if I wished to tease Major Sheppard and Dr McKay for their affection for each other, I should suggest they get married?"

Sounds of choking came from the front seats. Ford ignored it. "It would embarrass them, sure, but I think you're missing--"

"You're missing the fact that I wouldn't marry him if my life depended on it!" Rodney exclaimed, standing out of his chair and pointing at the major.

"You wouldn't marry me?" John repeated, incredulous. "You're not in a position to be choosy."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. If anyone was going to be refusing anyone, it would be me refusing you."

Rodney's jaw dropped open. And stayed like that for the count of three. Then he blinked. "Why are we arguing about this?"

"You started it."

"Well, I'm stopping it," Rodney enunciated clearly. "Teyla, we're not going to run off and become Mr and Mr McShep."

"I think you could in Hawaii," Ford offered helpfully.

Both Rodney and John glared at him, then John said, "McShep? Why the hell would--"

"Shut up." Rodney sat down and buried his head in his hands. "Just shut up. Everybody."

"Including you?"

"Everybody."

The puddlejumper was quiet for a few minutes. Frowning, Teyla stealthily leaned towards Ford and whispered, "Is that the reaction the taunt is supposed to have?"

"Pretty much."

Nodding to herself, Teyla sat up straight again. Her expression said precisely what Ford had been thinking: Earth customs are strange.

And the idea of the McShep family was very unnerving.

Comments

[abbylee]

This ficlet totally made my night. Now I can go to bed happy. Thank you!

[out-there.livejournal.com]

You're welcome! *beams*

[sobelle.livejournal.com]

Bwahahahaa! This hilarious take on taunts and Teyla and McShep... just great!

I have unearthed a plethora of new SGA stories that I musta missed the 1st time around...

Sometimes it's good to be slow.

[out-there.livejournal.com]

*grins* Yeah, sometimes, there's nothing better than discovering all these old treasures at your fingertips.

[laetitia-g.livejournal.com]

He he he! Lovely.

[out-there.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[wagacca.livejournal.com]

Oh man, so funny!

[out-there.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[terrible-tues-2.livejournal.com]

Good job Teyla! I'm glad somebody's giving our boys a hard time. LOL.

And, good job Annie. ♥

[out-there.livejournal.com]

Thanks!