SN Fic: Inherently Kinky

[out_there]

Title: Inherently Kinky
Author: out_there
Fandom: Sports Night
Word Count: 2,885




Casey had been sitting there with that silly smirk on his face for the last two hours. Dan decided it was time to put him out of his misery. "What's her name?"

Casey finished typing his sentence. "What?"

Dan tapped his pen against the table, waiting for Casey to look up at him. "You're wearing your ‘I've got a date' facial expression."

"I have an ‘I've got a date' facial expression?"

"Yep, and you're wearing it," Dan confirmed and Casey turned, trying to catch his reflection in their glass walls. "Okay, Casey? Now you're just wearing your ‘I'm confused' expression."

"Oh," Casey said, looking sheepish. Dan counted to five and that silly expression was back. It was as if Casey's face had ordered a large plate of happy, heavily topped with smug, with a side of vague panic.

"So?" Dan asked and twirled his pen between his fingertips.

"So, what?"

Dan frowned as he dropped the pen. "What's her name?"

"Ah," Casey said, and this time his face spared no expense in ordering the big grin. "Marrisa."

"Marissa? One r, double s?" With Casey's dates, it was best to spell the name first.

"One s, double r. Pronounced the same, though," Casey added with a shrug.

Dan rolled the name across his tongue. "Marrisa. So, where did you meet Marrisa?"

"At the gym." Casey raised his eyebrows and said, "She's a gymnast."

Dan chuckled. "How old is she? Going by the average age of professional gymnasts, you might want to remember to introduce her as your niece, not your date."

Casey glared at him but it didn't work too well with the goofy smile. "She's twenty-nine."

"Twenty-nine? That's pretty old for a professional gymnast, Casey," Dan said doubtfully.

"She's not a professional gymnast. She's a professional aerobics instructor," Casey said and then grinned. "But she used to be a gymnast."

"Ah," Dan said knowingly.

Casey nodded. "Exactly."

"She'd be very flexible," Dan said with a leer.

Casey shook his head. "No."

"No?" Dan asked surprised. "I think she would be, Casey."

"No. That's not the point." Casey waved his hands vaguely. "She used to be a gymnast. I used to be a gymnast...?"

Dan hazarded a guess. "So you can both be flexible together?"

Casey groaned. "No. We're both interested in sports. We both used to compete."

"Ah," Dan said and got Casey's point. "You have common ground."

This time, Casey nodded and smiled widely. "We have common ground."

"Ground in common." Dan leaned back in his chair. "I can see why you're looking forward to tonight."

After a few minutes of silence, Casey added, "Plus, she's really hot," and Dan chuckled.

***

When Casey walked in, he didn't look quite as happy as Dan had expected. "How'd it go?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Casey grumbled and flopped onto their couch.

"That bad, huh?"

Casey leaned forward, staring at Dan intently. "It was a first date. First dates are usually good. I'm happy to accept that they can range from uncomfortable to great, and that very few of them are great, but they don't often drop all the way down to bad." Casey paused to breathe, and then slouched back down into the couch. "Last night fell to bad and just kept plummeting."

"Worse than Pixley?"

Casey covered his eyes with his hand. "Worse than Pixley."

"Worse than Marya?" Dan asked with a grin. That one was better known as the reason why you should never order hot tomato soup while on a date.

"Worse than Marya," Casey said and let his head drop back on the couch.

"Worse than–"

Dan was interrupted by Casey's snort of annoyance. "It was bad, okay?"

Now Dan was really curious. "What happened?" He perched on the chair and leaned forward, waiting for the tale, but Casey just flushed and shook his head. "Come on, Casey. Tell me."

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"What makes you think I wouldn't believe you? I already know your dates push the limits of believability and common sense," Dan reminded him.

"You'll laugh at me," Casey said, frowning at the open door.

Dan got up, closed the door and then sat down beside Casey on the couch. "I already do that, so you might as well tell me."

"Fine." Casey sighed and turned to Dan, leaning closer and lowering his voice. "We went for dinner and then went back to her place. We had a couple of drinks. Things got a bit hot and heavy, and one thing led to another. Then, she asked me to stay the night and showed me into her bedroom."

Casey stopped and Dan cocked his head in disbelief. "That's it? I have to admit, in my experience, that's an excellent first date."

"No. The terrible part happened in the bedroom," Casey said and fidgeted on the couch.

"Okay, share."

"Just…" Dan was surprised that a grown man could blush that deeply. "Just promise you won't laugh, okay?"

"Fine. I promise," Dan said with a long suffering sigh, and Casey leaned closer and whispered the end of his date.

Dan couldn't help himself. He burst out laughing. Really, with a story like that, how could Casey expect him not to?

***

They were nearly into the forties, and Dan was still sniggering every time they went off air. He didn't mean to. He was a professional. It was only the fact that he was a professional that stopped him doing it on air as well.

"Dan, have you been to the dentist's today?" Dana's voice buzzed through the PA system.

Dan looked up at the camera, confused. "No."

"Then did somebody else give you laughing gas before the show?"

Dan stifled the sniggers. "No."

"Then can you stop laughing? It's highly unnerving."

Dan forced his mouth into a straight line. "Sure, Dana," he replied, looking down at his script. He certainly didn't look over at Casey, who was staring at the ceiling with a look of extreme annoyance and mortification on his face. Actually, watching Casey out of the corner of his eye was just enough to set Dan off again. He raised his hand to his mouth and tried to cover the giggles with a cough.

Casey glared at him. "Are you alright there, Dan?" If looks could kill, Dan's brains would be splattered across the back of the set right now.

It was enough to sober Dan up, at least until Kelly Kirkpatrick's introduction, which mentioned ‘the boys in red cotton unsuccessfully chasing that small leather ball'. Dan bit the inside of his cheek, hard, and just managed to make it to the C-break before dropping his head to the desk and shaking with loud laughter.

"Seriously, Casey?" Natalie sounded concerned and irritated, a tone she'd mastered well. "Is Dan on some kind of medication we should know about?"

"No. He's just a moron," Casey replied darkly.

"Casey, man, I'm sorry. I really am," Dan managed to splutter between chuckles. "It's just... man, leather!" He dissolved into giggles again.

"Well, Dan," Casey said, his voice doing a great impersonation of a fridge: light, airy and really cold. "You were the one grinning like an idiot as you wrote the script."

"Okay, I have to ask," Jeremy said, sounding wary. "Why is the reference to leather so amusing?"

"It's not," Casey growled.

At the same time, Dan gasped, "Black leather!" and burst out laughing again.

"Thirty seconds back to air," Chris announced.

"Somebody get Dan a drink," Natalie called out.

"Dan, there's a few more C-breaks and about twenty minutes of the show to get through. Do you think you could, maybe, pull yourself together and do your job?" Dana asked firmly.

Somebody handed a glass of water to Dan and he guzzled it quickly, forcing himself to stop laughing. He pulled at his jacket collar, straightened the line of his shoulders, and got his head back in the game.

***

"And we're out," Chris announced as the end credits started to play on the monitors. For once, Dan and Casey wasted no time in pulling out the earpieces and pushing their chairs away from the anchor desk.

"Not so fast, guys," Dana hollered via the PA. "I want both of you in the conference room in two minutes."

"Dana, I have plans. Can we do this tomorrow?" Dan stalled.

"In two minutes, guys!"

Casey glared at him, a ‘look what you've got me into now' look, and Dan had to apologize. "I'm sorry, Casey. Really."

They walked through the back of the studio, dawdling on the way back. "Really?" Casey asked dubiously.

"Really sorry, man," Dan said earnestly. "The first script was a gag. A joke. I was only doing it to tease you. It wasn't meant to air."

"Then maybe you shouldn't have given it to Dana," Casey sniped as they walked down the corridor.

Dan grimaced. "I know. I thought I'd given her the other script. When I realized, I did give her the second one, but it was like twenty minutes to the show. And then she had that trouble with the Midwest feed, and..."

Casey stopped walking and turned to him. "It was really an accident?"

Dan raised his right hand. "Swear it."

Casey sighed. "You're an idiot, Dan."

"But a lovable idiot, right?"

"No, just an idiot," Casey replied smugly and Dan knew he was forgiven.

Just in case, it never hurt to repeat an apology. "I really am sorry, Casey."

"Yeah, I know." Casey smiled and Dan relaxed. "Come on, we've got a scolding to attend."

***

They walked into the conference room to find Dana, Natalie, Jeremy, and Isaac standing around, waiting for them.

Dana tapped her foot impatiently. "Care to tell me exactly what was going on tonight?"

"No," Casey said certainly, shaking his head.

Dan cringed. "You don't want to know, Dana."

"Actually, Dan, I think I do," she replied.

"You really don't," Dan repeated.

"Do I want to know?" Isaac asked.

"You don't want to know either," Dan said with an encouraging smile and hoped that Isaac would let them off the hook. Casey just stood there, not meeting anyone's eyes.

"Do I need to know, Daniel?" Isaac sounded amused, but his eyes were deadly serious.

"No, sir." Dan took a deep breath and continued. "I'm sorry. It was entirely my fault. Just a joke that got out of hand. It won't happen again."

"You sure?" Isaac watched each of them seriously and Dan was reminded of breaking his mom's vase when he was nine.

"Yes," they replied in unison.

"In that case, I'm going home," Isaac said, and looked at Dana. "Dana, embarrass them as much as you want, but if it happens again, I'll have words with them. Is that clear, boys?"

"As crystal," Dan replied seriously.

They wished Isaac a good night as he left, and then Casey turned back to Dana. "Is there a reason I'm here? Dan was the one who screwed up."

Dana smiled cruelly. "This is the fun of working in a partnership, Casey. You get to share the punishment."

"It really wasn't Casey's fault," Dan said earnestly.

"Guess what?" Dana asked brightly.

Casey groaned. "You don't care?"

Dana beamed at him. "I don't care. Now, share the joke with the rest of us." Dana took a step back and leaned against the table.

Dan shared a look with Casey and then started to explain. "I gave you the wrong script. There were errors in it that were amusing. I did try to give you the right one," he added hopefully.

"First of all, you know we need final script at ten. Ten-thirty at the latest, and only if it's cleared with me first. Handing it to me at the start of a show doesn't magically make it appear on the teleprompter, Dan."

"We had twenty minutes," Dan started to say, but stopped at the look on Dana's face.

"Do you want to get into that fight with me, Dan?"

He dropped his gaze. "No, Dana."

"Good. Secondly, I read your scripts. I know what I'm doing. There were no errors." Dana crossed her arms and turned her attention to Casey. "And what about you?"

"What about me?" Casey repeated defensively.

Dana's voice was cutting. "Dan had trouble holding a straight face and you were the personification of tense, Casey."

"You try sitting next to a hyena," Casey shot back at Dana.

Dana was forced to think fast, or this would blow up in a bad way. "Dana, could we have a moment alone with Jeremy?"

Jeremy looked up, surprised. Dana just looked suspicious. "Why?"

"It's a guy thing," Dan said.

Dana snorted in disbelief and Casey finally got a clue and added his support. "It's embarrassing to talk to a woman about it, Dana. So could we talk to Jeremy?" Casey asked beseechingly.

"Okay," Natalie replied for Dana and then turned to Jeremy. "You'll tell us everything they say, right, honey?"

Jeremy adjusted his glasses. "I remember the concepts of sharing and punishment."

"Good," Natalie said and steered Dana out of the room. "We'll meet you at Anthony's."

***

Jeremy sighed. "Guys? I've been sitting here for ten minutes, waiting for you to explain."

"We know," Casey said, leaning his head down on the desk. "Dan?"

Surprised, Dan looked over at Casey. "You want me to explain?"

Casey shrugged and made a vague ‘you might as well get on with it' hand gesture. "Okay, well..." Dan suddenly found he wasn't sure how to explain.

Jeremy cleared his throat and leaned back in his chair. "Let's start with why you didn't want to tell Dana."

"Last night, Casey had a bad date."

"Okay, I can see why you didn't want to explain to Dana," Jeremy said thoughtfully. "Why did it go bad?"

Dan ignored Casey's muffled groan and continued. "It was a good date, right up until she invited him into her bedroom."

"Well, that always signals a bad date for me," Jeremy said sarcastically.

"There are three reasons it was bad. Handcuffs. Latex. Whip." Dan tried very hard to hold a straight face as Jeremy's eye bugged out like a frog. "To be precise, her bed had handcuffs attached. The date mentioned she liked wearing a latex bodysuit. And then she showed Casey her favorite whip."

Jeremy swallowed loudly, his eyes still wide as he leaned closer to them. "What happened?" he asked furtively.

"He ran," Dan replied with a smirk.

Jeremy looked to Casey. "You ran?"

With his arms folded across the table, Casey didn't look up. "I ran."

"He turned tail and ran like the truly manly man he is." Dan didn't even try to hide his teasing grin.

Casey glared at him. "It was a strategic retreat, Dan."

"Sure it was, Casey," Dan scoffed.

"Would you have acted any differently?" Jeremy asked Dan.

Dan thought for a second. "I would have made a smoother exit." That made Casey chuckle. "On a first date, that's not kinky so much as…"

"Disturbing," Jeremy finished.

Casey nodded. "Definitely disturbing." They were silent for a moment, thinking about the rather odd women Casey managed to date.

Jeremy interrupted the silence. "I can see that this may have amused Dan, but I don't understand why he kept laughing during the show."

"Read through the aired script," Dan said.

"Specifically, the late twenties and thirties," Casey added. Jeremy shuffled through his clipboard and started reading. Then, he started sniggering. Casey rolled his eyes. "So have we all had a good laugh at my expense?"

"To be accurate, only Dan and I have laughed," Jeremy corrected with an amused smile.

"What are you going to tell Dana?" Dan suddenly asked.

"I'm not going to tell Dana," Jeremy said and Dan sighed in relief. "I'm going to tell Natalie and she's going to not-explain it to Dana."

"Natalie's going to know?" Casey asked despairingly.

"It's in your best interest," Jeremy said, giving them a serious look.

"How?" Casey whined.

"This way, we've shared so no one gets punished. In particular, no one gets punished for not sharing amusing dating stories earlier in the day," Jeremy said, looking at Casey and then turning to Dan. "And no one gets punished for using their show as an elaborate joke." Jeremy paused and Casey and Dan looked at each other with the same cornered expression.

"Natalie can be harsh when it comes to punishment," Casey offered wearily.

Jeremy shrugged. "Also, Dana knows something went on. Natalie's the only one who'll be able to convince Dana not to pursue it."

"That's a good point," Dan said.

"I thought so. I'm going down to Anthony's. Are you guys coming?" Jeremy stood up.

Dan answered for both of them. "Not tonight."

"Sure," Jeremy said, nodding, and gathered his things. "I'll make excuses to the girls."

"Are you okay?" Dan asked when Jeremy had left the room.

"I have been mercilessly mocked by you for the last twelve hours. Right now, all I want to do is to go home and pretend today, and last night, never happened," Casey replied miserably.

"I've always said gymnastics is an inherently kinky sport," Dan said with a grin.

Casey looked at him blankly. "You've never said that, Danny."

Dan grinned. "Well, I will be now."