Commentary Meme

[out_there]

In celebration of finally getting all my stories¹ up on AO3, a writing meme last seen on resonant's DW:

Pick a paragraph (or any passage between ... let's say 200 and 600 words) from anything I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the characters' heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.



¹ - That is a slight lie as the anime stuff I wrote at the not-so-mature ages of 16 and 17 isn't up there, but that's not getting posted online. They died a quiet death with Geocities and none will mourn their passing. But everything fannish written from 20y.o. onwards, is all sitting on AO3. It's a yay, peoples.

Comments

[out_there]

Awww, this is one of my favourite sections, so let's give it a shot. I like the buildup in this story and this hits right at the end, after the confusion and the sneaky kisses, just as John not only figures it out but also proves he has an awesome knowledge of how Sherlock ticks and how to prod Sherlock into doing what's best for both of them.


---"How about..." John walks over to the sofa, sits on the vacant cushion. "Just ask me to stay."

---"It's a very short-term answer," Sherlock says, turning towards John. "People stay as long as there is personal incentive for them. My expressed wish for you to stay would only influence your decisions until a more pressing emotional connection was formed with someone else."


Upon re-reading, I notice how formal Sherlock's speech is. I'm not sure if it's entirely in -- or out of -- character for him. It jars, just a little, becuase Sherlock is so modern in so many ways, but at the same time, he does use some lovely words (the peace and quiet being "hateful" is a personal favourite -- just a little posh, a little archaic, but such a nice word) and this is a moment when Sherlock is a little off-guard, a little distracted by being so wrong in his assumptions, and more thinking it through out loud than really talking to John.



---"Maybe you should man up," John hears himself say. "Maybe you should be the one I form an emotional connection with."

It might be slightly American (I'm not sure. It's not Australian, I can say that for certain. Over here, we'd be more likely to say "Suck it up, Princess"), but having John Watson say "man up" makes me ridiculously happy. I *heart* John. Even more than this story suggests.


---There's a breathy huff of laughter and then Sherlock freezes, head turned to John. "That wasn't a joke," he announces slowly.

---Sherlock looks surprised, like before his eyes a penguin just turned pink and started singing Ave Maria. John doesn't miss the quick glance Sherlock shoots down at the arm with the nicotine patch, the split-second he takes to remind himself he's clean.

Penguins! That's all I have to say. Well, that and Sherlock's understanding of humour is not as well developed as his understanding of decomposition, but everyone already knew that. (Also, rather unrelated, he's lovely when he laughs. John and Sherlock laughing together in the first scene is a thing of joy and love.)


---"I'm serious."

---"John, I'm not--" Sherlock starts, and then, "There are many reasons--" and finally, "That's completely irrational."

I think Sherlock would see himself in a removed, impartial way: his life is about his work, everything revolves around it. The idea of stopping to consider himself as a romantic possibility... just isn't something he'd even consider. But at the same time, it isn't something he can argue *against* either, even though he tries.


---"You like me," John replies. "You think I'm the least annoying person in London."

John would be a little smug as he said this. *hearts him* I love a smug John.


---"I said the least annoying person I'd met. I really can't speak for the entire Greater London area." Sherlock frowns and adds, "I simply meant that I endure your company more easily than anyone else's. It wasn't a vow of undying adoration."

And, still, this is one of my favourite bits of dialogue. Because, yes, the "I love you" is three easy words but I like stories that can delve into what that means for characters. Is love that warm little secret you hold in your heart? Is it the thought that pulls you out of a bad mood and makes you smile? Or maybe it doesn't impact your bad mood at all, but it's the thing that makes you willing to apologise afterwards.

Or in this case, is it the one person that you're willing to spend hours with, even if you're sulking at the time?


---"And yet, you're sitting here concocting schemes to make me stay," John says, high on the impossibility of it all. "Let's make this easy. I like you and I'd be fine with kissing you on a regular basis. So tell me you like me and you want me to stay, and then kiss me."

---"I think you're oversimplifying matters," Sherlock says but he doesn't sound unhappy about it. More... cautious.

---"You just like everything being so complex you're the only one who can figure it out," John replies easily. "Try it. Worst that happens, you can go back to your Machiavellian plots."

---"Niccolo Machiavelli would approve of a slight amount of deception for the greater good of all, but that's not what most people mean when they say Machiavellian."

This is a perfect example of the random things that online research is vital for. Would you believe I had to use Wikipedia and a google search or two to make sure that common use of the phrase and the actual suggestions of Machiavelli were right? At least an hour spent researching something that was only a throwaway line -- but it needed to be accurate. Needed to be the right line.


---"You're stalling," John teases.

---Sherlock looks as if he's not sure if he should smile or not, but he wants to. "I'm thinking."

---"Any time now."

---"I spend more time with you than I ever anticipated spending with a flatmate and despite all facts that should suggest otherwise, I find myself…" Sherlock takes a deep breath, shaking his head. Then he meets John's eyes, leans forward and says, "I like you. Stay," and kisses John softly.

Because in the end, John has the right answer. Sometimes, the simplest option, the straight-forward solution, works just as well as the most complicated scheme Sherlock could imagine. It's a very important, very simple idea, but those words are very powerful (and not easy to say).

I think my favourite thing about the second episode was the way we saw John do this -- with the appointment book/diary, by taking a photo of the graffiti before walking away -- and they weren't solutions Sherlock had considered.

I think it's one of John's special appeals (certainly to Sherlock); he has the ability to simplify matters without jumping to incorrect conclusions. He can simplify and still be right; he see through Sherlock's complexity to the personality beneath. Add to that the way John clearly appreciates Sherlock's brilliance without always understanding it, that John's reaction to the unknown is interest, not fear or mockery, and it's easy to see why Sherlock would find himself falling for John.

That's really a long-winded way of saying "John + Sherlock 4eva". *g*


---That's the sixth time Sherlock kisses him. After that, John stops counting.

I love that last line. I struggle -- frequently -- with ending stories and usually have to cull another four paragraphs to find the place where the story stopped. But this moment, that's the perfect end to this story. The story was all about working out the *why*, the reason for the kisses, and I love the hopeful note of this, the "John stops counting" which implies that there was a lot of kisses that followed.

In regards to what happened next... hmmm. In my mind, the immediate future involves a lot of snogging on the sofa, and groping, and possibly sex (which luckily, Mrs Hudson does not walk in on). In the longterm, the kissing continues. Not necessarily when John would expect it, not every morning at a set time (because Sherlock doesn't do set anythings, let alone set times), but John finds himself frequently kissed -- unexpected and sweet, affectionate in a way Sherlock can't be in words -- and kissing back.

And, clearly, I have no trouble talking about this story. *g*