SN WIP: Danny/Accounting

[out_there]

It's a continuation of the Danny/Accounting ficlet. Because I really needed *another* wip. (Okay, its' because brainless accounting banter can be written even while tired and headachey. Homophobic wip requires plot and consideration of whatever the heck I was up to and Danny/Charlie wip requires porn. Although, I'm perfectly happy to hand that over to Celli. *smiles hopefully*)


***

There was a distinct thump as Dan's head dropped to the table. It was a rather hollow sound, Casey noticed, and tried not to snigger at the thought. "You okay there, Danny?"

Dan's voice was surprisingly clear, considering his face was lying in a pile of accounting notes. "I'm going to fail."

"Really?"

Dan sighed. "Really."

"Huh," Casey said and turned back to tonight's script. As he typed, Dan stood up and stalked over to the desk.

"Huh?" Casey glanced up to find Dan hulking over the desk and glowering. "'Huh?' That's your reaction to my misery? Huh!"

"Would 'okay' have worked better?"

Dan stared at him for a moment and then dropped his head to his chest. "It wouldn't change the fact that I'm going to fail."

Casey sighed and leaned back in his chair. He could, theoretically, ignore Dan's plea for help and keep writing his script. But if he did that, Dan would just become more and more annoying. "Do you want some help studying?"

Dan didn't look up. "I don't think anyone could help me. I don't think anyone could make this subject make sense."

Casey rolled his eyes at the melodramatic tone. "I'm a good study buddy."

Dan boggled at him. "You're offering to be a study buddy?"

"I'm offering. It's now an offer. You can take it or leave it, Danny."

"A study buddy?" Dan repeated, struggling to keep a straight face.

"There will be no mocking of the study buddy," Casey said firmly. He didn't actually expect Dan to pay any heed, though.

"Oh, there will be mocking. There will be lots of mocking."

"Danny."

"I'm being helped by Okey from Fanokey." Dan sniggered. "Who uses the phrase 'study buddy.'"

"I don't have to help you, you know."

Dan stood up quickly, shaking his head. "Uh-uh. You offered, Casey. You can't offer a drowning man hope and then just pull it back."

"I don't think I'd offer a drowning man hope," Casey said slowly.

"That's pretty harsh. You'd just watch the guy drown?"

Casey grinned. "I'd offer him a *rope*, Danny."

Dan groaned at the correction of his phrasing. "And then you'd pull it back."

Casey nodded. "It'd be cruel to throw him both ends of it."

"Be a little funny, though," Dan said, snickering.

"I'm suddenly glad you were never a lifeguard."

***

Dan had procrastinated, and claimed that he couldn't study on an empty stomach ("It's bad for concentration. There are studies proving this, Casey."), that he just needed to check some baseball stat from 1973 ("There will come a day when Jeremy is not right about every random stat. There is a chance that today is that day."), and that he had to find his calculator ("No, not that one. The good one."). Eventually, Casey had taken Dan by the shoulders and forced him to sit down at the table.

"Let's start at the basics," Casey said, watching Dan closely to make sure he didn't claim a sudden need for a lucky pencil. "Why are you having trouble with this?"

"It makes no sense."

"It's just recording how you make money. It's just a way of saying you earned this much and you spent that much."

"Don't do that," Dan said with a small frown. "Don't make it sound all logical and practical when it isn't. It's insane troll logic, Casey. No two ways about it."

Casey blinked and waited for Dan to take a breath. "Finished?"

"No. It's illogical, it's unnecessary, and it's not practical. If it was, it would be used the world over."

"You do realise there's accountants all around the world, right?"

Dan snorted. "I don't think so."

Casey laughed. "You're doubting the existence of accountants?"

"I'm just saying that there must be some places that recognise how ridiculous this system is. Like Timbuktu, or Wagga Wagga."

"I hate to burst your bubble," Casey said, laying a soothing hand on Dan's arm, "but there are accountants in both South Africa and Australia. This is not locally-produced insanity. It's part of the international business community."

Dan sighed. "What about Kathmandu?"

"I'm pretty sure Nepal has accountants too. They may be more spiritually enlightened than other accountants, but still."

"Huh." Dan stretched his neck back and stared up at the ceiling. "I'm trying to imagine a spiritually enlightened accountant."

"To earn is to suffer?" Casey offered glibly.

Dan snickered. "Maybe he just feels really guilty about creative accounting?"

Casey poked him in the side.

"What?" Dan demanded.

"Study."

"Fine," Dan grumbled and reached for his notes.

***

"An asset is a future economic benefit to the organisation that will…?" Dan sighed as he trailed off. "I can't remember if you debit or credit it. How am I supposed to remember how you *define* it?"

Casey blinked for a moment. "You debit."

"How do you know that?" Dan shot him a sideways glare and frowned. "I have spent weeks studying this. How do you get to help me for an hour and already know that?"

"I knew it from college."

"I though you said you avoided business subjects like the plague?"

Casey nodded. "I did."

"…but you took accounting?"

"Nope."

Now Dan looked extremely confused. "Then how…?"

"I helped Lisa study for her exams." Casey grinned. "Oddly enough, some of it sinks in."

"Ah," Dan said, leaning back in his chair. "Last minute cramming. The last refuge of every sane person."

"Are you calling Lisa sane?"

"No. No..." Dan looked alarmed for a moment. "Oh, damn it. Maybe."

"It's strangely reassuring that there's someone who dislikes my ex-wife more than me. Don't get me wrong," Casey said when Dan started to grin, "it's really damn strange, but it's a little reassuring."

Dan spread his arms wide. "I live to reassure you."

"You live to annoy me."

"I'm a talented guy. I can do both."

Casey rolled his eyes. "And on that note, let's get back to the study."

"So, you helped Lisa cram for an exam over a decade ago, but you can still remember all the debits and credits?" Dan asked. Casey nodded. "Your mind works in weird ways, my friend."

Casey shrugged. "I like mnemonics."

"Like 'Every Good Boy Deserves Fruit?'" Dan stretched his fingers and added, "I still remember that, even though my musical career was short-lived."

"Your musical career was learning the recorder in second grade."

"As I said," Dan replied with a grin, "short-lived."

"I used to like Never Eat Soggy Wheat." Dan stared at him, so Casey explained, "For remembering North, East, South and West."

"I've never heard of that. Got a nice rhythm to it, though."

"Easy to remember."

"So what's the 'easy to remember' mnemonic for accounting?" Dan smiled hopefully. "Tell me there is one. *Please* tell me there is one."

"Paler."

"Huh?"

"Paler. Proprietorship, Assets, Liabilities, Expenses, Revenue."

"I think I can remember the categories without *that* mnemonic," Dan sneered.

"No, it's… Give me that." Casey leaned over and snatched the pen and paper out of Dan's hand. "It's PALER," he said, writing down the letters. "Then, you write C above the A, and keep going C, D, C, D, C…"

Dan blinked as he wrote it down, and then continued his CDC line below. "This may be obvious, but what the hell does that mean?"

"It's how you credit," Casey said, pointing at the three lines of text. "To increase something, you look at the letter above it, and you know whether to credit or debit."

Dan started to smile. "To decrease it, it's the letter below?"

"Yeah. Nice, easy system," Casey said smugly, leaning back in his chair and pushing the page back over to Dan.

Dan studied it for a moment, muttering under his breath. "There's just one problem…"

"Yeah?"

"How do you know to start with a C?" Dan pointed to the top row. "If I got confused, and thought you had to debit to increase Proprietorship, I'd be totally screwed."

"The alphabet."

Dan paused, and then shook his head. "I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I even stopped and thought about it," Dan said as he blinked at Casey. "But that comment made no sense."

"You remember through the alphabet, Danny. C comes first, so it starts the first line."

"Ah." Dan turned the page over, and wrote down the PALER code. "That's actually useful. And pretty cool."

Casey grinned. "Told you I was a good study buddy."

"But the phrase 'study buddy?' Will *never* be cool."

***

The next section? Will have accrual versus cash accounting. Or at least a very basic explanation of it.

Comments

[that_mireille]

Hee! But Casey *does* make a good study buddy!

And I loved this: "It's strangely reassuring that there's someone who dislikes my ex-wife more than me. Don't get me wrong," Casey said when Dan started to grin, "it's really damn strange, but it's a little reassuring."

[out-there.livejournal.com]

Hee! But Casey *does* make a good study buddy!

Yeah, he does. Because that's what you really need before exams - someone to sit you down, point you at your books, and say "stop stuffing around and do the damn work."

Huh. In other words, Dan studies just like me. *g*

And I loved this: "It's strangely reassuring that there's someone who dislikes my ex-wife more than me. Don't get me wrong," Casey said when Dan started to grin, "it's really damn strange, but it's a little reassuring."

Thanks. I'm a little partial to the idea of Casey secretly liking the fact that Dan's always been on his side of the arguments (even though he knows he was letting Dan be unfair on Lisa).

[celli]

*does the dance* wooooooooo!

"I'm pretty sure Nepal has accountants too. They may be more spiritually enlightened than other accountants, but still."

*dies laughing*

And Danny stuffing around somehow has an extra ring of truth. *g*

[out-there.livejournal.com]

*does the dance* wooooooooo!

This would be a good time to remind you of your offer to take over the Danny/Charlie fic, right?

"I'm pretty sure Nepal has accountants too. They may be more spiritually enlightened than other accountants, but still."

*dies laughing*

We'll blame that on me actually watching part of a travel show a couple weeks ago. I found out that Kathmandu is the capital of Nepal, and needed an excuse to show off that random knowledge.

And Danny stuffing around somehow has an extra ring of truth. *g*

*snerk* Not that *we*'re anything like that when we study. Nuh-uh!

[speshope.livejournal.com]

... I just learned a mneumonic I'll probably never use.

Woo?

*laughs* I wish I had a study buddy like Casey in school.

[out-there.livejournal.com]

*laughs* I wish I had a study buddy like Casey in school.

Yeah, me too. *g*