Heroes fic: The Lack of Surprise

[out_there]

Title: The Lack of Surprise
Fandom: Heroes
Pairing: Matt/Mohinder
Spoilers: Set after 2.07 "Out of Time".
Rating: G
Notes: Written directly after watching "Out of Time" (and being posted quickly to avoid being jossed!). Thank you to both nestra and storydivagirl for such amazingly fast betas! You girls rock my socks.

Summary: "You don't get it. This isn't about intentions. These people-- There isn't a right here. There's just wrong and more wrong."




Surprisingly, it didn't take long for the Company halls to fill. Sitting on the bed, Molly tucked up against his side as nurses completed charts and unplugged her from machines, Matt watched the employees return. They looked so normal: nurses with their hair pulled back neatly, the occasional doctor or scientist in a white coat, men and women in mid-range suits, dressed for a day in the office (or a convention, Matt thought, a group of realtors or managers, maybe dentists or insurance salespeople). They looked ordinary.

However, Matt could spot the telltale bulges on hips and torsos. Most of them were carrying a gun.

Bob had already stopped by and offered his congratulations on Molly's recovery. While they were clearing Molly to leave, Matt had heard the thoughts -- plans to keep his father sedated, permanently -- and had said nothing, done nothing.

He'd been the one to trap his father. Complaining about the man being kept in a comfortable bed and drugged-out coma seemed pointless now. He'd already made his decision.

After an hour, he left Molly with the nurses and told her he was calling a cab.

He had to ask three people -- a blonde in a straight, blue skirt; a shaven-bald twenty-something in a dark suit that looked a little more expensive than most; a middle-aged guy with a beard that looked like Colonel Sanders -- before he found the lab that contained Mohinder.

"Molly's okay," Matt said from the doorway, startling Mohinder into turning around. There was a stark, white bandage across his nose and he looked tired, eyes a touch bloodshot. Behind him, manila files lay open on the bench and beside them was a gun. A semi-automatic handgun. "Thought you might want to know."

"I heard." Mohinder glanced away and then looked back at him, awkward and uncertain. Matt had a flash of memory: Mohinder's nervous, hopeful smile as he stood in Matt's hospital room and suggested moving in together. "I was planning to..."

Mohinder shrugged, leaving the thought where it was, making it clear -- to Matt's ears, at least -- that he'd meant to visit, planned to, as soon as he worked out what came next, what was right and wrong, and what he should do.

"I'm taking Molly home now," Matt said, taking a breath and forcing himself to stay where he was, feet flat on the floor, shoulder wedged against the doorframe. "We're going to get something to eat, play some board games and watch cartoons. Tomorrow, she's going back to school."

"A little normality will do her good. I have a few things to finish," Mohinder said, gesturing to the vials on the bench but Matt interrupted before he could explain further.

"Come home with us."

"I can't," Mohinder said, dismissive and annoyingly calm. "I have responsibilities here."

"Molly's got school tomorrow." Matt dug his hands into his pockets to fight the urge to shake some sense into Mohinder. "I've got keys on me and a regular, paying job."

Mohinder looked genuinely confused. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I'm going to make this real simple for you. If you don't come home, don't be surprised to find the locks changed tomorrow."

Mohinder chuckled, as if Matt was joking. Then something -- the expression carved into Matt's face, the tension tightening his shoulders and keeping his posture straight -- made him see Matt was serious. "You can't kick me out of my father's apartment." His sneer was an equal mix of disbelief and outrage.

"Since the lease is in both our names and I can afford the rest, yeah, I can." Matt looked around the room -- cupboards, benches, chairs: all glass and stainless steel -- and kept his clenched hands hidden. If he didn't, if he walked closer and let himself reach out, he couldn't trust himself not to hurt Mohinder. Couldn't trust himself not to use force to drag him from this place, from these people, from this whole sordid mess.

"This is ridiculous," Mohinder spluttered, turning his back on Matt and flicking a page over in one of the files. "There are lives at stake."

"Yeah, Molly's."

"That's rich, coming from the man who--" Mohinder cut himself off, stopped himself from voicing the words. It didn't stop Matt from hearing it, from flinching at the accusations.

He scrubbed a hand across his cheek, feeling the beginning of stubble scratch his palm. "You're right. I was the one who put her in danger. We nearly lost her and it was my fault, my selfish actions, my stubborn insistence. We nearly lost her, in all the ways that count. I'm not letting that happen again."

"And my desire to save Niki's life would clearly do that," Mohinder said sharply, deliberately ignoring the risks he knew he was facing.

That was when Matt lost it. When he found himself striding over and grabbing Mohinder by the shoulders, using his momentum to push him hard against the nearest wall. "You think that's what this is about? You think I got Molly trapped because I wanted to prove something to my father? You think it was as stupid and pointless as that?"

Mohinder pushed back, but Matt had the advantage of position and bulk. He shoved Mohinder back against the wall and heard the thud as his head connected with plaster. He also heard the surprised grunt of pain.

Those sounds shocked most of the anger out of Matt. Made him close his eyes, breathe and gentle his grip. "You don't get it. This isn't about intentions. These people-- There isn't a right here. There's just wrong and more wrong."

"Shades of grey," Mohinder said softly, as if he already knew. Maybe he did; he was a brilliant man, after all. But he was a smart guy who got confused, frightened and angry. He was a smart guy who sometimes made stupid decisions. "It's a complex situation, Matthew."

"No matter which side you choose, people will die. And you'll be part of that."

"And if I do nothing, more will die."

Matt slid his hands from Mohinder's shoulders to his chest, thumbs lying on the lowest curve of his collarbone. "So stay. Stay and compromise your integrity, become someone different than who you are. But the guy I know, the guy you are now, the guy Molly loves, he couldn't do this. He couldn't protect a company that chooses who lives and who dies."

For a moment, Matt thought he might have gotten through. For a moment, he thought the three of them might go home, might salvage this nightmare of a day.

Then Mohinder spoke, voice soft and deep. "I need to help. I need to do whatever I can to save this situation."

"Then do it. But don't come home," Matt said, voice steady even as his heart threatened to beat its way out of his ribcage. "Don't make this part of Molly's life."

A sigh. Then Mohinder sagged, as if all his energy had gone in that one breath. "This isn't fair," he said simply, like a child whispering into the dark.

"I'm drawing a line in the sand. I don't care about the greater good and the horrible things done in its name. I care about my family. That means you and Molly." Matt leaned forward and pressed his head against Mohinder's shoulder. He was overwhelmed with gratitude that Mohinder didn't push him away. "I love both of you and I'm worried about you, about what you're doing, but Molly's a child. She needs me."

Mohinder's hand landed on his head, smoothing down his hair with careful strokes. He listened to Mohinder's thoughts, heard him debate the difference between need and want, and not once consider the idea of agreeing with Matt's simple demand.

"If I have to choose between the two of you, if I have to protect her from what you're getting involved with -- what we both were getting involved in -- then I will." Matt lifted his head up and leaned closer, tilting his head carefully to avoid Mohinder's injured nose. He pressed a kiss against Mohinder's lips, light and chaste, gentle and regretful enough to be a goodbye. Then he met Mohinder's tired eyes and said, "But I'm asking you to come home. I'm asking you to walk away right now and make Molly your priority."

Matt stepped back. He wasn't particularly surprised when Mohinder shook his head and mumbled, "I'm sorry."

It hurt and he was disappointed, but he wasn't actually surprised.

Comments

[raincitygirl.livejournal.com]

Waaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

[out-there.livejournal.com]

*pets you*

If it helps, I promise the next thing I post will either be a PWP or have a happy ending. Promise.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Oh! No, no, that's painful. That's terrible and sad, it breaks my heart.

[out-there.livejournal.com]

*pets you*

Look at it this way: every so often, the story has to have an unhappy ending. It balances my karma for writing silly, happy fluff the rest of the time.

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

I like the fact that you made it a realistic ending. Mohinder would think he's doing the best good by staying at the Company and trying to work there, but at the same time, we just saw Matt stand up to his father about being a good dad to Molly, and he's not going to agree with Mohinder. He didn't agree with Mohinder to take Molly to the Company, and he's worried about Molly, period. From what I remember of S1, the show did a good job creating that relationship between them.

So, yes, definitely, I see some rockiness (is that a word?) between Matt and Mohinder, especially if the previews are what's really going to happen. Mohinder wasn't going to stop his research with the Company, even for Matt and Molly, not when he'd already gone back to the Company in canon already.

As much as I don't like unhappy endings like this one, I definitely love this, because it's true to the characters, and it's not sugar-coating anything. I really do hope that they'll have a chance to reconcile, but I can accept it if they can't or don't.

Translation to Fannish: WHEEE! YAY! OMG <3!!!!1!

[out-there.livejournal.com]

As much as I don't like unhappy endings like this one, I definitely love this, because it's true to the characters, and it's not sugar-coating anything.

That's exactly how I feel about this. I actually wrote it just after seeing 2.07, and then realised that I'd broken them up, and tried to tack on a happy ending, but it just didn't work. The story is supposed to end there, is supposed to be them both caring deeply about each other and about Molly but not being able to compromise on their opinions of what needs to be done.

[rogueslayer452.livejournal.com]

*cries* This broke my heart. Just, the tug and pulling of emotional strings gets to me. It's all so sad, but this part I really liked:

"Shades of grey," Mohinder said softly, as if he already knew. Maybe he did; he was a brilliant man, after all. But he was a smart guy who got confused, frightened and angry. He was a smart guy who sometimes made stupid decisions. "It's a complex situation, Matthew."

"No matter which side you choose, people will die. And you'll be part of that."

"And if I do nothing, more will die."

This is so accurate and in-character that it's incredible, and so very true. The tough decisions and confusing place Mohinder's at right now, it's all very very true to what's happening and I can actually visualize this happening in the next episode. Just the conversation alone is something I can just see happening between Matt and Mohinder.

This was so sad but beautiful, I loved it. Even if it made me cry. :(

[out-there.livejournal.com]

*hands you a tissue* Thank you. I'm so glad it worked for you and it felt like the characters.

The tough decisions and confusing place Mohinder's at right now, it's all very very true to what's happening and I can actually visualize this happening in the next episode. Just the conversation alone is something I can just see happening between Matt and Mohinder.

I agree about Mohinder being in a confusing place right now. I mean, even with the blunderhead move of bringing her to the Company and then telling them about Bennet, I can understand his reasoning and the fears that propelled him. And the trouble is that while Matt's right -- while this will lead to Mohinder having to become like the Company, while there is no possible way that he can walk away from this innocent and unchanged (regardless of if he places his loyalty with Bennet or with the Company) -- Mohinder's right too. People will die if he doesn't help. He was right there, he saw the start of this, and he knows how catastrophically bad this can get.

But personally, if it was me? I'm very much of the "me and mine" approach. I'd be worrying about my child before I worried about the rest of the world,a dn I'd be incredibly angry if my co-parent didn't.

[rogueslayer452.livejournal.com]

People will die if he doesn't help. He was right there, he saw the start of this, and he knows how catastrophically bad this can get.

Exactly how I see the situation. I mean, we can be frustrated by the fact that he did reveal his partnership with Bennet and even bringing Molly to the Company, but when it comes right down to it Mohinder's in a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" type of situation. He knows the consequences but is thinking of the bigger picture. So yes, it is a grey area for all of them now, which is why I love this show; there is no definite line of Good or Bad, it's all very blurred.

While this piece made me sad (I love my happy endings, dammit) it's very realistic to where the story and characters are now, which is why I loved it.

[speakersxblown.livejournal.com]

Woah. This was...incredibly good. But it hurts.

[out-there.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[baehj2915.livejournal.com]

Shit. That was a bitchslap at 3:30 in the morning.

Wow. That was intense.

I think that if someone presented the situation to Mohinder like that... yeah, he'd probably go to try and save the world. Especially if he knew about that Shanti virus shit.

Wow.

sadface
JLB

[out-there.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. Somehow, I don't think this would make great early-hours-of-the-morning reading material.

I think that if someone presented the situation to Mohinder like that... yeah, he'd probably go to try and save the world. Especially if he knew about that Shanti virus shit.

I think he would, too. And he wouldn't be *wrong*, just... y'know, a lot more selfless about it than matt can handle right now.

And thank you.

[ilsaluvsrick.livejournal.com]

I started crying at this line and didn't stop for the rest of the fic:

"I'm going to make this real simple for you. If you don't come home, don't be surprised to find the locks changed tomorrow."

Oh, Mohinder, it really isn't as complicated as you're making it. Just go home with your family.

The worst part is even with the ultimatums, I think he would stay with the company. He's in so deep now and it hurts my heart.

[out-there.livejournal.com]

Oh, Mohinder, it really isn't as complicated as you're making it. Just go home with your family.

That was precisely my reaction to watching the end of 2.07. It's... oh. I mean, I get it. This is *Mohinder*. When things get bad -- really, truly bad -- he looks for moral guidance from those around him. But I think that he's looking in the wrong direction. Bob isn't going to help. And Bennett, while being a great guy and foxy-smart (ie. leaving the fingerprints to point to himself but managing to keep all knowledge of the Haitian off their radar? I'm sure that's been done on purpose) isn't necessarily looking out for Mohinder's best interest in any way, and might lead him astray if it results in the "greater good".

But he's got Matt. He's totally got Matt. Who is a remarkably decent guy. A guy who really does believe in right and wrong. Regardless of how much it might annoy and anger him when his family is put in danger, I don't think Mohinder's giving him enough credit.

Or, y'know, I've been reading so many Matt/Mohinder fics that I think that level of emotional intimacy should play into the decisions Mohinder makes in canon. *g*

[shara50.livejournal.com]

So heartbreaking!!

[out-there.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[tiptoe39.livejournal.com]

OH, how angsty and sad, and yet just the kind of resolution we need in order to accept Mohinder's decision... so important to contrast Matt's seeming abandonment of her with Mohinder's decision to go all over fucking CREATION... :angry at mohinder, the poor conflicted pretty man:


We need to see, one way or the other, the decision get made. Or else he was never a parent to begin with, just a kindly doctor, and that is such a cheat.

[out-there.livejournal.com]

Sometimes, Mohinder is lucky he's so pretty. Otherwise...

We need to see, one way or the other, the decision get made. Or else he was never a parent to begin with, just a kindly doctor, and that is such a cheat.

I agree completely. And thank you for commenting.

[movies-michelle.livejournal.com]

Guh. Wonderful, painful, and completely in character. Thanks.

[out-there.livejournal.com]

Thank you! *beams*

[lovemyfaceoff.livejournal.com]

Great I got all weepy. This was so good. It hurt! But it was perfectly in character and completely believable.

[out-there.livejournal.com]

*passes you a tissue*

Thank you!

[crystal-mk.livejournal.com]

Awww, that was so sad but also realistic. I want a happy ending but can appreciate a sad one that stays true to the characters so great job.

[out-there.livejournal.com]

Thank you! *beams*

[himhilien.livejournal.com]

This really broke my heart but in a good way. *cries*

It was so in character, especially for Mohinder. Thank you so much for writing this.

[out-there.livejournal.com]

It was so in character, especially for Mohinder.

i'm so glad it worked for you. Thanks for commenting.

[elvinborn.livejournal.com]

Then Mohinder sagged, as if all his energy had gone in that one breath. "This isn't fair," he said simply, like a child whispering into the dark.
owwwwww

your characterizations are so spot on it's insane.
and it's telling when Matt finds Mohinder to tell him that Molly's better, and he's heard but he's still in the lab working.

serious love for this.

[out-there.livejournal.com]

your characterizations are so spot on it's insane.

*beams* Thank you!

and it's telling when Matt finds Mohinder to tell him that Molly's better, and he's heard but he's still in the lab working.

Poor Mohinder. I mean, I *get* his reasoning (I don't agree, but I understand) and why it's so vital for him (or someone) to find a cure. But right now, it's also important to Matt for their family to spend a bit of time together -- proving where Mohinder's first priorities lie -- and Mohinder just doesn't see it, or doesn't understand the need for it.

[irish-heiress.livejournal.com]

Heartbreaking :(

But, you know, wonderfully heartbreaking! This was beautifully written and very realistic. Mohinder is prone to making arguably stupid decisions, so it wouldn't be unlike him to do this. (Besides, we know already that he's going to go on acting on behalf of the Company) Your characterizations are spot-on, and the emotion is so real here.

How I wish this interchange or something like it would be in the next episode! It won't, of course, because the writers don't seem particularly interested in explicating anything this season...but I think this is a pretty accurate rendering of how Matt would/will/should react to Mohinder's decision to go forward with the Company agenda. I just wish these two could have a happy ending!

[out-there.livejournal.com]

But, you know, wonderfully heartbreaking! This was beautifully written and very realistic.

Thank you!

I just wish these two could have a happy ending!

*agrees completely* My OTP is supposed to be happy domesticity but TPTB don't seem to be agreeing with that.

[groovekittie.livejournal.com]

Owwwwwwww. My heart is broken. I'd be terribly angry, but this is so well written and so true to the characters, I can't be anything but grateful that you shared. :')

[out-there.livejournal.com]

Awwwww! Thank you.

[gothams3rdrobin.livejournal.com]

Nooo! *wibbles*

Mohinder, you fool!

[out-there.livejournal.com]

Just between you and me, I'm totally planning a sequel, just because I can't stand leaving Mohinder as such an idiotic jerk unhappy.

[carma-baby.livejournal.com]

I don't know what to say that everyone else hasn't already said. This is heartbreakingly beautiful and true and makes me feel like crying. Even when they're tearing each other apart, I can't help but love these two characters.

[out-there.livejournal.com]

*passes you a tissue* Thank you for commenting.

Even when they're tearing each other apart, I can't help but love these two characters.

I know what you mean, and for me, that's a sure sign I've fallen for my new OTP. Fallen *hard*.

[mlyn.livejournal.com]

Painful, but perfect for the two of them and this point in the story. Well done.

[out-there.livejournal.com]

*beams* Thank you.

*tries to hold back the tears*

[trixxanna.livejournal.com]

You are such an amazingly powerful writer and that never will get old or expected because everything I read from you takes my breath away and leaves me in a stunned silence for a few seconds. Nothing is there in those seconds but the greatness of the words set out before me and the power you give them.

It hurt and he was disappointed, but he wasn't actually surprised. there is such unbelievable power in that sentence that I could probably use it for a complete thesis. (Then again I have a need and hunger for the deeper meanings as well as the surface grace.)
Thank you for sharing these.

Re: *tries to hold back the tears*

[out-there.livejournal.com]

You are such an amazingly powerful writer and that never will get old or expected because everything I read from you takes my breath away and leaves me in a stunned silence for a few seconds. Nothing is there in those seconds but the greatness of the words set out before me and the power you give them.

Oh, wow. I literally don't know what to say to that. Well, other than thank you. *blushes*

[ainsley.livejournal.com]

Asleep, but wanted to say it's v.v. sad in a pretty way. Much like Mohinder in that moment.

[out-there.livejournal.com]

Much like Mohinder in that moment.

Hee! Sometimes, it's lucky that Mohinder's so pretty.

[out-there.livejournal.com]

Sorry for suddenly disappearing. My internet connection cut out.

And thanks for the help. I think I know what I need to do with the story now.

[ainsley.livejournal.com]

No worries! I understand the state of your internet connection, and assumed as much.

I'm glad to have been of some use, and look forward to reading the final version!

[raiining.livejournal.com]

Oooooohhh!!!

Oh Mohinder. So brilliant. So blind. And Matt, you're not much better. Wonderfully done.

[out-there.livejournal.com]

Thank you